I am feeling really disappointed with myself today, and like I’m never going to get off this cycle of getting a couple weeks sober and then relapsing and then a few weeks and then relapsing again. I’m starting to feel like I’ll never manage to stay sober. I know I’ll feel better tomorrow, and I just need to stay sober today. I know I’m not alone. Thanks for giving me a place to vent.
One day at a time and be kind to yourself. You can’t make a rough edge smooth without rubbing it with sandpaper…
U are absolutely not alone… I have almost a week clean now, but I literally would be saying the same things u are now. I have relapsed sooo many times that I honestly was getting afraid that I wouldn’t recover… figured that I was one of the ones that would die an addict. But that fear I felt was a lie. My addict mind trying to sabotage my recovery and convince me that I was hopeless. We are not hopeless. Sometimes people get it right away and others take some time (like me). Relapses aren’t great obviously but they can be learning experiences. Take a look and see what happened. What can u do differently now? What can u add to ur daily routine that is recovery related? For me, I found a supportive group of people like TS and online meetings very important. I also incorporate my faith and pray. I inclued self care, good rest, and exercise. I also read recovery literature. It’s normal to be disappointed after a relapse and feel discouraged but don’t let that keep u from trying. It’s a new day sending u positive thots ur way!
@Butterflymoonwoman, your words are so beautiful and uplifting! Thank you for sharing ~
I’m in an outpatient program. For various reasons I don’t think I can go to rehab. It would have some really bad repercussions elsewhere in my life. But yes I should be doing more therapy than I am, and I appreciate your suggestion. Thanks for taking the time
This is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much. It does feel like my addiction is trying to sabotage my recovery… I have to remember that this disease wants to kill me. I’m trying to remember how much progress I have still made. As of last June I couldn’t even imagine going one day sober, and now one day feels doable most days. Sometimes I’ll go over a week and it’s not too bad. It seems like usually around the 3 week mark I start getting squirrely and looking for excuses.
I’m going to meetings online, and I have a sponsor, and she’s someone I’ve been able to be honest with and she’s super supportive.
Thanks for your kind words. I hope you have a wonderful day!
A lot of us have been there! Keep trying. Do you want to quit or just try to moderate? Be realistic about your goals.
Have you tried AA? It is not for everyone, but I have found it comforting, at least it is a way to meet new people.
2 or three weeks at a time is great! Write down your feelings and check back on it later
U are so welcome I just really relate to ur post… I struggled at day 3 for God knows how long… And at like day 2, I’d start getting myself worked up bcuz I knew day 3 was coming and I’d be almost expecting a relapse or expecting a shitty day. Reality is… is that if we just focus on the 24 hours ahead and literally thats it and do what we need to do that day for our recovery, those days will add up! And we will be looking at our timers and be like omg, it IS possible. Like I said day 3 was my relapse day. Now 3 days is easy to get thru. We literally need to put as much energy (if not more) into our recovery as we did when we drank or used. It’s a daily reprieve cuz as u know, addiction doesn’t take days off. I’m glad u have a sponsor and go to meetings. That will surely help
Moderating doesn’t work for me… I’m not the kind of drinker who can stop after 1 or 2 drinks. AA totally helps, especially with breaking out of that isolating addiction brain. I don’t love everything about it, but I love enough about it to keep going.
Thanks for your encouragement. I hope you have a great day!
Look at doing something different from before, whatever that may be for you,
look at the insane justification we give to that 1st drink, its not the 3 day binge or anything else,
the battle is with the 1st one.
We fall we get up we destroy then we rebuild the point is to never give up then days will turned to weeks, weeks will turned into months it’s not easy but it’s worth it keep fighting you can do this. Peace and take care.
If you continue to drink there will be very bad repacussions drink will take everything from you including your life rehab could be worth a shot good luck in your journey