I’m feeling like such a loser and failure. I had 2 weeks without cocaine or alcohol and last night I messed up and did both. I’m so depressed. Am I ever going to get it right.
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Hey there, sorry to hear that you’re struggling. Cocaine and alcohol were very much my vices as well. What have you been doing so far to stay sober?
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I’ve been keeping myself busy working and doing some reading on my own. I haven’t been going to meetings but I’m thinking I need to get going to them.
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Its just a blip of course youl get it right one day, it is within you…what caused the blip? U know the alcohol and cocaine from last night will be messing with your head today aswell, ive been there too. For today be easy on yourself, nurse the hangover dont drink then tomorrow start deciphering what contributed to the relapse and what you need to do to move on from it, you can do this
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I’m not really sure what caused me to relapse. There really wasn’t anything in particular. This isn’t my first attempt and I’m feeling like I don’t know if I’ll ever get it right.
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One of the things that really helped me get my head around drinking was listening to Allen Carrs book easy way to stop drinking
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Go easy on yourself. Two weeks is really great. Your relapse is a blip on your screen. Try not to look at it as a failure or an ending but rather as a beginning and an opportunity to go forward. One of the things that helps me maintain is my support group. It’s virtual,I have two,and I take an active role seven days a week. This community is another source of support a really great one for me. It’s important to be kind and gentle with yourself. You got this.
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Yes, you can get it right…it takes work to get clean and sober. For most of us getting clean and sober went far past “just not using”
What are you doing to get clean and sober?
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2 weeks is significant but also not that long! Im sorry you relapses.
Please dont let the anger and disgust with yourself turn into escaping and using even more. You deserve to be kind enough to yourself to keep recovering.
2 weeks shows commitment and it can happen again. You can do this! 
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The course of addiction, untreated, is relentless. Living a better life, being a better person, these are not the treatment for addiction. They are the effects, or rewards, of treated addiction.
@Thirdmonkey asks the question much more gently than it was put to me - “Are you done yet”? What are you doing, not intending, not planning, what are you doing about your addiction, today, to make sure you get a sober head on your pillow tonight?
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First of all let me say that i know the feeling all to well. It is all about the dopamine these substances set off in your brain. Here is what finally worked for me…I started with eliminating all sugar and refined carbs. Strict keto diet for 7 days (sugar also releases dopamine and can trigger). This included alcohol. My body screamed at me as I went into withdrawl type of symptoms. It helped to go to bed early just to get another day behind me. I think the first 4 days were the worst. Be strict with yourself ( as if you were taking care of a sick dog that needed a strict diet). Recognize they are cravings and nothing more. Take walks, binge watch a show, work out etc to help pass the 20 min for it to pass. By the end of the week you will start to notice that the cravings are quieter if not all gone. Just don’t left the devil in the door…he will come knocking. Trust me. Offers will come…all shapes and forms. Do whatever you can to avoid, including making up excuses. Trust me, i made it to this point only to end up right back at misery and defeat. Hating myself more. You had 2 weeks of freedom…a taste. You can reach it again, but this time stay away from sugar. You will not crave the alcohol. I overcame meth years ago but I am not too familar with cocaine. But remember, it is all about the dopamine. Read Dopamune Nation. It will change your life. And do keep in mind tge “crabs in a bucket” mentality that exists out there among the people around you. It is real. One last thing…progress is NOT linear! Don’t throw it all away over one slip up. Dust off…keep going. Best wishes.
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You described me at one point. What changed? I came here and listened. A lot of advice in the beginning, i thought didnt apply to me…eventually, i realized it did.
Have you thought about joing a recovery program?
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I came here at my absolute rock bottom and in a desperate state thinking i couldnt last even a day…with the help, kindness and compassion of people on here and toward myself im now 68 days sober…it can be done
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I’ve been digusted with myself more times than i can count!! I asked myself the same questions as you. There were times when i just thought I would give up. It was just too hard! But I found this app and these people. Two years ago. Just checking in here. Reading about successes and failures. Reading advice given to others. I don’t really know why. But it worked!! Keep looking. Find what works for you.
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That means you’ve managed 13 days out of 14 without a drink or Cocaine! Well done.
Presumably you haven’t got any left otherwise you wouldn’t be feeling guilty so you only had a tiny bit.
Nobody who has a drink and some coke once a fortnight is addicted to anything so stop beating yourself up and realise no harm done.
I’m not saying fall of the wagon every two weeks mind you.
But your body and mind work on the principle you’ve been clean for 13 days out of 14.
Your liver isn’t dying and youre not hiding under the bed in case imaginary FBI knock down your door while your girlfriend is having an imaginary orgy with all your best friends.
Only your sense of achievement is damaged.
You’re so self-critical, that’s probably the problem in the first place.
If you actually put the emphasis on not criticising yourself youre solving the real problem.
Take care.
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@rsvf you just slipped and thats ok. Pick yourself up and be proud of the 2 weeks you achieved! Put some tools in your bag though to help you from slipping again. Get yourself some help. You can not do this alone. Therapy, GP input, AA/NA meetings, seek advice and support here with us…all things that will make slipping less likely. You can do this one day at a time. You are not alone in this.
Sending you support and encouragement
Ree 
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No need for disgust…relapse is an important part to many sobriety journeys.
Confront your People, Places & Things and Change what needs be. Nothing or Nobody is more important than your Sobriety.
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I dont think there is an it. A destination recovered. Its a day to day thing. I relapsed a lot. We don’t quit, we dust off and push forward learning from the relapse. String the days together. If I can quit drinking anything is possible.
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You haven’t fallen, only stumbled, just get back up and keep going. You can do it! You are on the right track coming here and asking for accountability. And we’re here for you, when you need an ear, just holler 
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Me just about a week ago. So you’re not alone. What I’ve learned from many people here is just take it day by day. It’s good that you can accept the mistake. But don’t beat yourself up too much. I’m on Day 9 and honestly just tired of the whole same routine. I’ve deleted/blocked certain “friends”, deleted all social media. So now when I pick up my phone since it’s a habit I only have this app to go to and I read and helps me remind me why I’ve decided to take this journey. Keep your head up high 2 weeks was still a great achievement.
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