This may be completely off topic, so admin delete if not allowed.
I have been with my husband for 18 years, married 13. Over the past 5 years I feel we have grown apart and are just keeping on for the sake of our kids.
However the last few years I have realised how truly unhappy I am and I think it definitely is a factor in my drinking.
Anyway he has become so disrespectful toward me and in front of the kids. Commenting on my weight, what I eat, how much I drink, how little housework I do. The list goes on an on.
He never complements me for my achievements, he never comments on how hard I work, what I do around the house. He never tells me I’m a good mum. Nothing is ever good enough.
And frankly I am sick of it.
I just don’t know how to talk to him about it and I feel I’m just growing further apart from him.
I feel stuck. And I feel trapped. And I feel I’m ready to end things.
Sorry for this post. I needed to get this off my chest.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this Linda. It sounds awful. I’m very sad for you. It’s a very appropriate topic and I hope you can find support here. Especially for your strength to stay sober in this difficult time you are having.
What do they say?
The good news is; we get our feelings back.
The bad news is; we get our feelings back.
It always helps me to leave some of my feeling here so I feel like I’m not alone.
My wife’s been drinking through all my sobriety. We always use to drink together. It can be rather difficult at times. But it’s always a bit better sober. And waking up hangover free.
I remember going to a counselor when I was married a while ago (he’s now my ex as of 15 years ago now thank God!!) He wouldn’t go so I went by myself. The counselor listened to me and said point blank… Do you want help in how to deal with him or do you want to end this? It didn’t occur to me that those were my two choices. It’s pretty straight forward. I had just been dealing with his crap resulting in mental health detriment. Maybe this is a question to ask yourself. I’m glad you’re staying strong in sobriety though!! Good job!!! Have you surrounded yourself with sober people? Many people have gone through this in their sober journey and they could be supportive there with you.
I have a good girlfriend that is going through something similar to this. Not that this has to be your conclusion but…
They got married after being together 10 years. Soon after being married for a litte over 3 years they got Divorced.
They both were drinkers but she is an alcoholic. He did nothing to help her because he didn’t understand the illness. He would say mean things to her and when she decided she had to stop he did nothing to help Her. No support. He would still bring alcohol in the house. Told Her she should know how to control herself, that he shouldn’t have to suffer because she can’t hold her liquor ( what an Ahole). So one day she decided that was it!
Now she has been sober 4 years. With the support of her family and true friends. She is in a wonderful relationship with a very kind Man. He treats Her like a queen. She never thought she could be so happy. There is hope whether you stay or go. Just know you are worth more Linda❤
Learning about convert Narcissism was a real eye opener for me. Once you’ve seen it you can avoid it! I almost moved one into my house as I am a “rescuer” it was such a close shave, but luckily my friend is a psychologist and pointed me towards this information!
So I’ve kind of given up and closed off to him .
