My wife and I separated a few months back and it feels like she hates me! She had a serious problem with me drinking and I didn’t think it was that bad but it really was! I have 73 days clean however she still won’t talk to me and she is keeping my son from me! I’m trying so hard but this is causing a huge depression and that triggers me to want to drink which makes it even harder because all I wanna do is drink away the pain! I didn’t think I was this bad until a lot of self reflection and even still I struggle badly!
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Welcome to TS Sean. Congratulations on 73 days sober, that’s great. Are you going to any sobriety meetings or anything like that?
I’m sorry you’re going through it right now but you’re doing the right thing by staying sober. Build back your life by doing the next right thing.
I’m sure your wife hated some of your behaviors and I assume she’s trying to protect your son. You cannot change the past but you can show that you’ve changed through action.
You keep stacking sober days on top of eachother and your life is going to become 1,000 times better. I’ve used this awesome place, sobriety podcasts, audiobooks, youtube videos and that sort of thing to stay sober. The important thing is to put work into your sobriety everyday and have some sort of community with other people in recovery.
Best wishes to you 
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I currently go to celebrate recovery and I love it and you’re correct me drinking isn’t good she couldn’t stand it! I’m hoping she sees how hard I’m working and allows me the opportunity to show her I can be the best version of me possible! I didn’t start getting sober till she was gone three months I decided enough was enough! Hardest thing I’ve ever done
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I was fortunate to have my perception of alcohol change. A couple of books did it for me. It took away the feeling of being deprived of alcohol and made me realise alcohol was depriving me.
Keep putting in the work. I just crossed 1800 days sober a few days ago. It gets easier, I can’t imagine anything making me want a drink anymore. It’s life perfect??? Hell no, but it’s a million times better than it was.
Walk your path, find gratitude everyday and stay in the moment.
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Welcome Sean and congrats on 73 days!
Glad you’re here and sorry to hear about your relationship.
73 days is a lot for those of us in recovery, but the reality is that you can’t undo the damage that was caused in that small amount of time. A quote comes to mind -
We can’t walk 10 miles into the forest and expect to come out in 5. Keep doing the next right thing and everything else in life will fall into place.
Wishing you the best on your journey!
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I’m presently going through a seperation as well. I actually signed a lease agreement today and am looking to be out of the home within the week. Shes wanting me out of the home for “space” and says that right now we’re just on top of eachother so shes not able to process. So, I will respect her wishes and move out to her liking. I want nothing more than to seek marriage counseling and reunite but I dont think shes on board with the latter. Only time will tell. I’m learning to surrender to Gods will for my life and whatever that looks like moving forward. I’m just trying to seek peace and however that is to come about at this point.
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Sorry to read this…sounds like you are doing all the right things…
Personally determined to repair my damaged relationship. Signs of improvement have occurred. I have to work hard on regaining trust from my significant other… Respect is a big issue for both of us although I don’t always see my failings in that department even when brought to my attention. Time will tell. Big decisions should not be made in the first year of sobriety so I am told. So holding on to HOPE.
Hope you find comfort.
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Thanks, I’m trying to continue to do the next best right thing. Right now that’s respecting her boundaries and request for space.
I’m determined as well and hope that counseling, once set up, goes favorably. I’m just surrendering the whole marriage at this point to my Higher Power and His will for my life. For too long I tried to do it all on my own and failed repeatedly. I no longer want to be in the drivers seat. I feel that if I focus on my recovery some healing and growth will come out of the relationship for both parties, even if divorce is the final say so but we can remain cordial and friends. In due time
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Really very very wise…
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Thanks. There’s been a lot of learning of self and others going on. I’m grateful that I’m sober and able to have a better outlook on things even when it’s difficult.
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