This is my first post. I’m sober since 6.19- whoppin two days and some change. I decided to quit drinking for a bit. My anxiety is spiraling and drinking only exacerbates it. Having the forgettis after a large weekend trip with friends brought me a lot of…regrettis. Did I say something stupid? Did I piss anyone off? I talked shit about mutual friends and like what happens if those people find out at some point? I don’t want to be like this. Everyone seems like they had a fine time. But I don’t like being in the situation where I’m doubting myself or my character. It makes me embarrassed to be alive. Returning to work after a bender makes me feel like I’m living some sort of lie. I operate in a highly professional setting. I don’t drink after difficult office days, I don’t even drink to cope in uncomfortable situations. But what I am saying, is I am a party monster and in a setting where everyone is there to turn up, I want everyone to laugh and enjoy, so one drink is always like seven in those sort of gatherings. It’s times like these where my anxiety is escalated and I feel like a bad human, like embarrassed to be alive. Does this sound like addiction or anxiety or something else? Curious to hear from the peanut gallery.
What convinced me was taking a good look at step 1 in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous and really being honest and asking myself if this step applied to me. Also reading pages 20-21 in the big book sold me. Those pages explain the 3 types of drinkers, the 3rd one being the true alcoholic. If you see yourself in that description then your probably an alcoholic. That’s what helped give me some answers, I hope it helps you also.
Only you would know if you had a drinking problem. What causes your anxiety,or are you not sure? Have you tried excercise to calm your anxiety? Any supplements? A lot of things can help with anxiety, I doubt drinking will. I wasn’t a drinker, was an opiate addict, but I self medicated my anxiety with them for many years, but it only made me worse in the long run. Excercise, reading, and certain supplements calmed me down. Eating healthier also. Anyways, sounds like drinking really stresses you, so take a break from it and see how you feel, if you feel you need a therapist then there isn’t anything wrong with that. Wish you well
Hey there, glad you’re here. I remember someone saying when I first came on here “sober curious” before I quit drinking: “if you’re asking if you have a problem, you probably know the answer already…take it or leave it drinkers don’t ask that question”.
That one hit me like a ton of bricks. In the end we can only answer that question for ourselves, but for me…the good time party girl who could drink her guy friends under the table….I knew that alcohol did nothing good for me. Four and a half years later, I am still wildly glad that I decided that I didn’t want to see what a “rock bottom” could truly look like if I kept GOING. I decided to jump off that train at the stop I was at and never get back on again.
The tricky thing about alcohol is that…the slide down into the dark places is real casual, it starts in this awesome fun party mode where everything seems a little brighter and louder….then, we can’t really tell at what point it turns…but when we look around again (however many years later) it’s not so fun anymore.
Glad you’re here. There’s tons of great threads on here, and a search option up top that looks like a magnifying glass where you can search terms your interested in “sober books” “how to tell people you’re sober” “favorite non alcoholic beverages” etc. there’s a lot of wisdom and support here. Wishing you well.
It’s not the label that matters. For me what mattered was forgetting what I said or did and regretting what I might have said or did. That awful feeling the next morning or not knowing what crap came out of my mouth the night before— that was the problem for me. I didn’t drink every day. I never drank at home. I maintained a good job throughout years and years of Friday night partying into blackout. I fucked up some friendships, put myself in a lot of dangerous situations and spent the days after bathed in regret. At over seven and a half years sober, I can tell you that it feels great to remember what I said and did the night before and my oh so fun drunken party persona wasn’t nearly as funny as I used to think.
