For years, I had it drummed into me in 12-step recovery that I should not discuss my struggles since it could trigger others.
Then I went into therapy and was able to share openly and that made all the difference.
Many years later, I am ending therapy…but also for the first time in years I am having cravings.
Should I be talking? How do I know if someone is safe? I can probably talk to my non-addict friends, but I will feel bad if they see me differently.
I don’t know.
True friends will not judge you for your addiction, especially given that you’re working on it.
Look to people in your life who you know you can trust. Also, make sure they are OK with you discussing these things with them. Some people may not want to.
This forum is also an excellent, safe place to discuss your struggles and triumphs. Stick around here!
True. But it is hard to talk about addiction to someone who never felt the compulsion.It is such a catch-22. Cannot talk to addicts and non-addicts do not understand.
Sure you can. You just make sure they’re OK with it.
And again, here on this forum. That’s the point! 
The addict meetings I go to are honest…I hear a lot of honesty…that’s what helps me be honest about my addiction…it’s the struggles that I go to meetings to hear about…so that when I’m struggling I can share about that or at least have the tools to help me get through. Hope you have find support somehow… sponsor? 
American meetings have that thing where they ask if anybody has a burning desire…I think it’s like a burning desire to use or something…and it’s about sharing that out loud that takes the power out of the obsessive thoughts. Take the power out of the thought by sharing it in a meeting…that’s what I hear and especially from my sponsor 
i’m in a 12 step program as well but my experience seems to be a bit different. people have always encouraged me to speak about my struggles honestly and openly. if not at a meeting then definitely outside, but either way, it was drilled into me that “our secrets keep us sick”. if you’re having cravings/struggles i say talk to someone trusted about them. you’re here on the forum and there’s tons of folks happy to hear so share away
I think online is safer for sharing, but it is not the same as a conversation.
I know there are issues with triggering, plus the first step. But I find this helps some, but it is not the same as talking to someone.
I agree. I have never heard of 12-step meetings (or any recovery method that I am aware of) discouraging discussion of our addiction with other addicts. That’s kinda the point of meetings, no? That’s gotta be rough.
I follow @Butch thread most days…and today’s message had this…it may help you…he has the “motivation and meditation” one… always seems to be something on there daily I need to read
I don’t want to get into parsing it all out, but I know were are supposed to help each other. I am talking about when you actually have the urge to use. Those times when others in the program are powerless over addiction.
yea, this isn’t the same as a conversation irl, but we’re lucky to be alive at a time where technology has made such a possibility, i think so at least. i’d encourage you to share whatever you’re comfortable with to any extent, i think it’s a much better option than bottling something in.
i think if you have an active urge to use that’s absolutely something to express to someone or a group or a forum.
I have been to many groups over the last 20 years. Never heard anyone say they wanted to use. Maybe these meetings are more about living in the solution.
I do not know where I would find any addicts I could talk to about this. (And I appreciate what you say, but I am still not sure that would be right.)
But I guess I should talk to friends who are not addicts. They all think I beat this years ago, but I need to swallow my pride.
That’s when you have to SHARE IT!..it takes the power out of it . It’s an obsession and a compulsion…it’s a feeling and it will pass…I’ve had those feelings…so uncomfortable and agitated…if I acted on those feelings it would end up the same old…so I let the feeling pass and don’t give in to those thoughts and feelings.
Honesty…that’s great…the truth will set you free…same as above ‘our secrets keep us sick’…and keep us in obsessive thought patterns…
I am not trying to make problems, but I don’t know what to say. How do I explain addiction to them? I know that before I became addicted, I did not get it…and I was pretty intolerant of addicts. I just do not know what to say.
Imo - bollocks, we share our experience, strength and hope. Where we were, what we did about it and where we are now.
it’s suggested that others look for the similarities not the differences as far as your experience goes but the solution is always the same.
I meant current struggles–not past one. Not experience, strength or hope–but rather current weakness and current fear. Not good material for meeting shares.
ahhh I get ya, in that scenario I quickly gloss over the fact it’s not been the best lately but here’s what I did to stay sober, I go to meetings where people just complain about stupid shit and this doesn’t teach the newcomer anything, I personally like to know what action is being taken bc if its keeping them sober I’m going to do it.
