So I’m Jewish and I live in Arizona. I was born in new jersey and moved out to Arizona for a job. I went to AA and I thought “well this isn’t my god”. I felt kinda alienated at first but then it was explained to me by another AA member. She’s native American and they believe that their gods were born in the kachina mountains a.k.a. the San Francisco peaks in Flagstaff. Her higher power is literally the mountain.
So then it hit me. It’s not about my god, or her god or your god. It’s about a bunch of people in a room wanting to change and get better. It doesn’t matter what figure you look to for strength. It can be whatever you want. I wasn’t really looking towards God for support. Just help. I needed help.
Some of the people in my life have never had an addiction, they don’t understand. It’s not their fault. But it made me feel like I was talking to a wall. The people I’ve met at the meetings have given me a lot to think about, a lot of perspective and more importantly they understand what I’m fighting. And my boyfriend went with me to a meet and I think he’s more empathetic now too.
So if you feel like you don’t need AA, its all good. It’s all about what YOU need and what you feel will work for YOU. I was genuinely surprised by the AA meetings. I never thought it could help me. I was mistaken.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ad nauseum. Enough with the AA debate. You can stay sober stinking your fucking thumb up your ass. It doesn’t matter. You are four days sober. You didnt like AA. Try something else. Do whatever you believe will keep you from taking that next drink. If that doesn’t work, try something different until you find what works. (a.s., for me it was AA.) You need to find something you can work and you need to remain committed and fairhful to the method you choose. Remember, it is just one day at a time. You don’t have to drink today.
OK. How 'bout those Falcons?
OK, I will take a stab at this. I am only 18 days and I few hours into my sobriety. So by all accounts, I am still in my infancy on this journey. However I know in my mind, that this is it for me. I have been drinking for 24 years, and have a lifetime full of stories and resets throughout the time that I have been a moderate to heavy drinker of alcohol. I had to explore the “whys” behind my drinking habits, and I am still working through all of that, but I have a pretty good grasp on what my main triggers are and have been seeing a therapist to work out some of my baggage that I have self medicated for many years. I have never been to an AA meeting, and at this stage in my sobriety I have no plans to attend one for a variety of reasons, the “higher power“ issue is not among those reasons for me. I would never try to persuade someone in either direction when it comes to meetings, because there are many people on and off this forum that cannot survive without AA. It certainly has its place in sobriety without a doubt. There are also other things that have a very prominent place in sobriety in my opinion, those being meditation, exercise, overall healthy eating, stress management, avoidance of triggering events, and as you stated technology, or forums such as this. In fact, my therapist just recently told me that she believes this forum is filling that “AA need“ in my personal life. That doesn’t mean that this will be enough for you or anyone else, but it is working for me, in the sense that I have other people to talk to even if it’s in an online format, about our shared issues along this journey toward a healthier sober life. I think, you will find more people than not attend meetings and are involved in AA on this forum, but I also know that you will find many people who are not necessarily working on AA program and are equally successful. We are a diverse group of humans, and need to figure out what works for us individually. This is working for me right now, if things change I will alter my sobriety plan, but currently I have zero cravings for alcohol and it is working for me.
Great topic. I’ve got a higher power but the 12 step meetings are a little overboard. I’ve hit my share of meetings all over and it’s way too predictable. I’m not bashing it because it works for alot of my friends but…not for me.
There are many of us on here that just use this app and no meetings … its not for everyone but knowing the basics to recovery and to know and identify the steps helps.
What a great topic! I did not like AA there are so many sick people in AA that I couldn’t see how I can be helped and I know I am not the only one who felt that way. I was asked to go to AA from the outpatient I enrolled myself in and the professionals have is a run through a few programs and there is also Adult Children of Alcoholics which I would like to look into more of, well anyways the people at the outpatient have there schooling and certs on the walls so I listen to them be for I listen to any one in AA that’s for sure. Yes so I went because the said to and now came the hard part which was finding a meeting that suits my needs as a new comer. It took quite a few meetings untill there was that one that did truly help me. I say keep looking for that meeting and raise your hand and tell them you need help in everything the true AAer will help please take my advice and don’t stop looking for help and don’t stop on the steps your sponsor if he is a good one or good for you will help you throu it ok
Also I know a guy who is in AA with 20+ years that is an atheist lol he said to me that he can still be spiritual and make it
This is true. I think some folk tend to be too critical about AA.
AA is cool, but I’m a private person, and it’s hard to be private in the small AA groups in my area.
Completely understood. I am fortunate to be in greater LA area there is no shortage of them. I can see where you are coming from I can’t stand some fellowships I feel worse leaving some meeting then a came in them lol especially in the beginning I would think to myself there is no way this works lol! There are some bad fellowships it’s best not to try to fit in and when one does they are like vampires lol there are some sick fellowships I hope I did not offend anyone
Moved house in october sold the guesthouse at last in a four bedroom one now , lost my bro Bob last may and buried my bro George last monday he passed away boxing day he had Parkinsons his family are in Cincinnati ,he came back to Scotland four years ago he was 70 my lanscaping business is busy we have tenders for rhe next 5 years going out next week fingers crossed ill be 66 on the 23rd jan so been running my business for 26 years now my two sons hopeflly will take over , was out in Portugal in nov did a few meetings but was there to relax , going to prague next month for a break so beeen busy still sponsor and have been doing meetings when ive time ill be 32 years sober this sept but its only a day at a time ,thanks for asking
I’ve spent a year trying to get sober without AA with the most horrible results. I’m starting to think I need it. I’m not an atheist but I am agnostic and I don’t particularly feel the need to bring God unto my life so fully but I think I need to do some sort of steps and start talking openly about my alcoholism. Right now I’m working on getting past the fear and just going.
You will be so glad you finally made it!
The promises are there waiting for you!
In my case AA is definitely vital. I relapsed lots of time following other ways but this time I m feeling much more comfortable…I m not saying I wont relapse anymore but now I m a bit more confident …(alchool and cocaine)
I should add that I don’t feel like NOT doing AA is bad. MANY people succeed with other programs or even just on their own. I’m just starting to think that my methods have not been working so perhaps AA is the next step.
Progress not perfection.
You just where not 'there yet, and that’s OK.
My guess it’s going to be so much more powerful and wonderful for you, having worked so hard on your own beforehand.
You probably have a pretty firm grip, and just need to identify that missing puzzle piece.
That puzzle piece is different for everybody. But it can be found in those rooms.
I don’t feel like I need AA today, but I am leaving myself open to needing it someday. I’ve promised myself that if I ever relapse…ever take that 1st drink, I have demonstrated that I need something more. That something more would be AA.
i did the same. i went two months, had an incredibly terrible month using/drinking that started w “ill just get drunk just tonight”, then started aa. very glad i made good on that promise to myself. over 8 months clean/sober now.
not at all meant to say you can’t do it yourself. i don’t want to come across as if i think aa is the only way to successfully recover/maintain sobriety. just relating to what you shared about keeping the door open and making a promise to yourself.
best! : )
I took it exactly how you meant it, agree, and thank you for your insight. I did 5 years all by myself, and relapsed. My last relapse happened when I used the passing of my mother as an excuse to drink again. It lasted a Year. Day 40 for me here. This time, the “something more” is this forum, so I’m not really all by myself. But, as you wisely point out, I still might need more “something more”. That’d be AA. No two ways about it. If my sobriety is in danger, I will “break glass in case of emergency”. Already know the meetings I would go to, if needs be.
I tried AA but it wasn’t for me either. I gave up for 2 years just doing it alone. Obviously I relapsed because I’m here but it was because I convinced myself after 2 years I was cured. There is no cure though. The last couple of years I’ve stopped for 60 days or 90 days or a few months but always start drinking again. So, day 6 today and taking it a day at a time. Good luck to you and us all.