Those are all legit issues that I had at first. Twice I made around 60-70 days with no program. Twice I ended up back in rehab. I was so fuckin broken this last time that there wasn’t any other options for me. My ego was destroyed by my relapses so I wasn’t worried about hurting it further. I had no social standing left bc I was a gutter junkie for the most part. I literally had nothing to lose bc I had nothing at all. Only then did I decide AA was my answer.
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AA is not for me for various reasons. Not even going to go into the higher power concept. There is no AA where I live now. I would have been nervous about being exposed in such a small town. Committing to a meeting and not going to it would give me anxiety. Not a coffee person. Also a very private person. At my first attempt I was sober 35 days. Half way through I found the TS forum and it helps me a great deal. Now I am on my 17th day. Only two of my friends and my parents know I quit. Honestly, I never thought I could give up drinking. I am so happy I got the taste of sobriety.
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Unfortunately in my country of heavy drinkers there is no stigma attached if you give up drinking because you wsnt to. However if you give up because you an alcoholic you are a automically deemed a loser and AA is fellowship for alcoholics. The thing is you have to work a so called alcoholic will not get a job. Very few AA members in my vountry can offer employment
1 month sober. No AA. Obviously early days for me but I felt like I wanted to get massively into ‘quit lit’ and kind of pick bits I responded to from different books/ podcasts/ websites.
My DOC was booze, cigarettes, various drugs while drunk.
I agree with other people here about the religion question, although I am sure it isn’t an issue for many AA goers.
I also think that the fact that I read 3 books in a row when I first stopped drinking which didn’t recommend AA, put me off.
Calling myself an alcoholic doesn’t work for me either (although I know some people respond to this label/ distinction).
One thing I do know is how happy I am to be on this app!
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Well done on a month sober keep us posted on your progress wish you well
I find this interesting, as my own personal views on this have changed over time in terms of what works for ME (I can’t presume to say what others may or may not respond to).
What I have learned is that “alcoholic” is a term of art rather than a term of science. It also has a lot of stigma attached to it and conjures a lot of assumptions, probably due to cultural portrayal. However, the actual DSM-5 does not use this word - the medical diagnosis is “alcohol use disorder” ranging from mild-severe. For anyone interested in reading about the diagnostic criteria, check this out: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-way/201506/what-are-the-eleven-symptoms-alcohol-use-disorder
I know I have existed within the criteria, moving between the levels of mild, moderate and severe (and even before I got sober, back to mild). I don’t think I have EVER drank in a way that fell OUTSIDE the criteria (maybe what some people call “moderation”?).
I go to AA. For me, what makes it comfortable are the people. Every meeting has a different vibe, some of which I find more comfortable than others, but I feel like I found my people.
It took me 3 meetings to introduce myself as an alcoholic. I sobbed through the first two times I did it, now it is important to me. To me, it doesn’t symbolize being down and out, but it symbolizes my commitment to myself and to the meeting that I CAN’T drink. This is an important reminder to myself.
Outside of meetings, I don’t publicly identify as an alcoholic. For me, that is private medical information, that I treat in the same way as mental health information - if its relevant and I feel comfortable, I tell someone that I don’t drink and that I go to AA meetings. If they ask if I am/identify as an alcoholic, I then open up a longer conversation (to the extent I feel comfortable) about what the word means to me, how I interpret it, my history of problem drinking and drugging, and the range and difference of physical/emotional addiction and compulsive behaviour, etc.
For a long time I minimized my alcohol addiction by saying “I have a complex relationship with alcohol”. Which was my way of noticing there was a problem but that it fell short of alcoholism/alcohol use disorder. That approach did not serve me well, as it indicated a huge amount of denial on my part. So, for me, I find strength in going to meetings and introducing myself as an alcoholic.
Wow, that response got long.
Lots of love to everyone.
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Lots has been repeated by many people, so I’ll mention part of my own experience and try my best to keep repetition to a minimum.
I’ve been to three meetings in two locations, bad experiences in all three. But I am not concluding that AA isn’t for me yet. I don’t have sufficient evidence yet - statistically not every meeting is going to just sail smoothly every time, and I only tried a few times. What I do know is that I need to do more than I have been, and AA has an outstanding record of helping people through alcoholism. I don’t want to go. But I think it’s a good idea for me to try a fourth meeting or a fifth in new locations anyways. If it still doesn’t work out, I’ll try other good alternatives like SMART.
Whether you’re for or against AA, if you are open to trying more than one meeting/location, I would recommend it simply because it helps many people, and you may have just gotten the bad apple. If you aren’t open to it (sometimes I myself am not), there’s no problem, as long as you are doing something to advance your recovery.
A tool is a tool, sometimes you pick up a dud and just get a replacement, sometimes you switch brands entirely. People generally just want you to succeed doing the work with any tool that works.
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