Hi All, I was doing well for a few years but lately I’ve slipped a number of times, I’ve said to my partner who doesn’t live with me that no alcohol can be brought into my house from now on. The latest incident was this weekend where I started drinking with my partner on Friday who slept and went home on Saturday, but I didn’t sleep Friday or Saturday, just stayed up doing coke and drinking for three days. Made it into work today but I’m desperate for this not to happen again - most of the time I feel like I’m back in control but then the impulses come out of nowhere and lately these impulses have been completely overriding any voice of reason in my mind that tries to intervene. So I just wondered if there’s anything else I could be doing to stop it happening before it starts. Thanks in advance!
I “play it forward”. Meaning I play out what will honestly happen in my head before I do anything. I know I’ll have one drink then a glass of water, which is me just lying to myself in a way, then the floodgates will open and I’ll do shots, buy coke and blackout. There’s usually some kind of rhythm to the madness.
I hope this helps because we all deserve happiness
A program of self betterment maybe? AA, smart, ect…there are a lot of variations of programs out there.
I was doing well for a few years
Do you mean to say you were sober? If you were sober, what were you doing that worked that you are not doing now? And what are you willing to do to get sober now? Is there something you are resisting?
I didn’t need tips to get sober, I needed to get arrested and to become willing to use whatever was available (medication, counseling, AA) to get and stay sober.
Sounds like you are in the throes of desperation right now, I hope you find a way to capitalize that into sobriety.
Don’t look back
Don’t think you can have that one drink/drug
Get help, its better reaching out then struggling on your own.
Be honest
Accept you have a problem
Be kind to yourself your only human, we aren’t perfect.
Thanks for the reply, yes I was sober. I think after I had sorted my life out, bought my house and a new car etc… I thought I had moved on from the drinking problem because it had been so long and I felt like I was a different person, so I stopped doing the things that helped in the very beginning, such as using this app and avoiding being around other people when they are drinking. So it just gradually crept back in, and became more and more frequent. So I think I need to start actively doing things to prevent myself from falling into the trap
Join AA and follow the big book, it’s proven to work, get a sponsor abd surrender yourself to God.
Man that’s crap. A couple of years? That’s like me going back out now, which being honest is something that has crossed my mind on occasion but I just look at where I was two years ago and figure I made the right choice to just not drink again.
I know full well what would happen, or basically I’d rather not risk it to find out!
“I’d rather go through life sober believing I’m an alcoholic than go through life drunk, trying to convince myself that I am not.”
From my understanding now, you need to start again. There are tales in here of people who have tried to carry on from where they were and it doesn’t seem to work.
Right back to the very beginning, one day at a time.
Working and remembering why you can’t drink.
And stay connected to your sobriety through this site or AA.
Your stats say that you didn’t spend much time on here anyway, before you decided not to come on here.
Thanks for all the replies and advice 
I just wanted to add, I’m a little concerned because after what happened at the weekend my left foot has felt tingly ever since… I probably drank around 40 cans of beer and did about 5 bags of coke, so I’m wondering if I’ve done some sort of permanent nerve damage but can’t get an appointment with my doctor as they’re fully booked up. Has anyone had anything like this?
Thanks in advance 
You did this before. Go back to basics and what works. Hit a meeting. No booze in the house is good. Surround yourself with sober people when ever possible. Hobbies (both new and old), anything to pass the time. Check out the zoom meetings available on here, pray, read and post here early and often. Volunteer in your community. You are the only one holding you back. Lean on the things you used in the beginning. I wish you continued luck on your journey. You can do it and you are worth it.
Being honest and open with your partner is a good start. After a 4 day bender of drinking over Thanksgiving, I realized I needed to seek help. Find a support system. I didn’t want to tell my partner about me being on here but I did. It was hard. Fought back tears and felt embarrassed. He said he would stop drinking as much. 3 beers 3 times a week. So, 9 beers. He’s also hid the vodka (even though I know exactly where it is) I haven’t touched it in 2 days. Little steps right? He even recommended I start journaling. He’s known I’ve been under a lot of stress and anxiety for most of this year but hasn’t tried to intervene until now when I’ve “come clean”. I’m happy we both have come to terms with my unhealthy way of dealing with stress/anxiety.
Hope this helps