im still not 100 percent putting the bottle down but im trying.
is god mad at me? i cant even talk to him to tell him how sorry i am/
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I have come to believe in a Divinity that does not have human qualities, and does not judge my actions. Mine is a guiding light, leading me on a path that if I choose it, will be more wonderful than I can imagine.
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I believe that God always loves us, even when we stray off the path. I struggled to believe in God while using drugs and it was incredibly hard to talk to Him. But i know God always looked out for me bcuz looking back, God prevented A LOT of things from happening that shouldve been soooo much worse. God works in our lives, even when we struggle to believe or struggle to talk to Him. Thats what I believe.
I do find tho that drugs and alcohol created a barrier btwn me and God. Its hard to be spiritually fit when we use substances that distract us from our higher purpose. Can i ask what is stopping you from fully quitting alcohol?
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His love is unwavering, it doesn’t yield. However addiction puts up a barrier like anyother sin. But He always forgives and doesn’t turn His back on us. I find that comforting and gives me a lot of hope especially in days when everything feels against me or when the cravings to drink overwhelms me. It’s during those times when I feel the most shame and want to hide from Him but it is really the time when I need Him the most.
Hope you will find peace in your decision to work through your addiction.
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Oh my goodness, he is NOT mad at you. He loves you no matter what! It’s like if you had a child that took cookies from the cookie jar before dinner after telling them not to. Are you going to ignore them when they try to apologize? Or stop talking to them? Will you love them any less? Of course not. You would love them the same and want to hear them apologize and confess to you what they did. You wouldn’t put guilt or shame on them. We do that to ourselves. PLEASE talk to him. He is a merciful God.
Romans 8:38-39
“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love”.
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Since God loves me anyway, can I keep my bad habits?
Matthew 16:24
Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me."
God is loving, not punishing. If you choose to not follow in his footsteps, then you will never know the design of living that is awaiting you. The AA Promises are real when you Believe.
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100%, absolutely
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That’s about you, not him 
You are feeling shame. Ultimately, finding your way out of shame is a journey you have to start and finish yourself.
The apple seed said, “I wish I had branches and leaves like the grown-up apple trees around me. But I don’t. I’m just a small seed, lying on the ground.” The apple seed felt shame; she felt like she didn’t deserve attention like the tall trees did.
The apple seed was also scared because she knew, when she grew, she would stretch out and her shell would be destroyed. The box she was in - her home for her whole life as a seed - would be destroyed as soon as she started growing. It was scary! It felt more comfortable to stay in the familiar walls of her seed shell.
But one day she let her worries go and she reached out to the soil for help. “Please help me! I will put in the effort to grow some roots, and please, help me to find the water and nutrition that I need.” And you know what? It worked! She did the same thing with her branches and leaves, with the sun: “Please help me! I will put in the effort to grow branches and leaves, and please, help me find the sunshine I need to feed myself, by converting sunshine to energy.” And it worked!
As she grew, the seed realized: the sun shines equally on everything. Every, single, thing - it all receives an equal share of sunshine; there is no judgment of who deserves sunshine or not.
The judgment is inside the seed. The judgment is the seed saying it doesn’t want to grow, it doesn’t deserve to grow, it can’t grow. This is all false, but because the seed hasn’t tried yet, it still believes it can’t do it.
Stretch some roots into the soil, and stretch some branches into the sunshine. Put in the effort and I promise you will find what you need.
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Hi @Hpoire I’m sorry you feel so hopeless right now .god does always love us .when you go to bed tonight Ask him to help you find strength to stay away from the bottle and ask him for peace comfort and sleep .Come back and talk to us more tomorrow . when you need us we will always be here. you don’t have to drink anymore there is a way out 
I’m sending you love and hugs today 
Everything you have been through, your faith is absolutely beautiful. Thank you for that
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Aww, thank you. You’re the best. 
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so i share custody with my sons father 50 50 but he refuses to ever let me have sat or sundays with him.so thats my main trigger. the second hes gone my mind is automaticallly self soothe mode. my sons almost 3 and i have yet to spend a weekend with him. not an excuse i know but stilll painful
Alcohol use disorder is a progressive disease. The harsh reality is that if you continue drinking, you’re putting you shared custody at risk.
We cannot change people’s behavior but we can change our reaction to their bad behavior. Sounds like you still place value in alcohol. It’s a poison, plain and simple. Not only does it poison our health, it poisons our relationships.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I am an agnostic so I don’t believe or not believe in God. But I have always felt that if God exists he is not keeping score. There are no conditions with his love. He loves you always in that he always wanting what is best for you and trying to get you the help you need.
YOU CAN DO IT!!
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Not only did God still loved me in the midst of my using, He really did not care about my sobriety. He didn’t give a flying hoot about it. He still doesn’t. What He really cared about was my lack of connection with others and Him.
He also cared about my toxic shame, and wanted me to demonstrate that I’m a person of value.
And He also cared about how I was attributing high amounts of value to a behavior that had no value.
He also cared amount my faulty concept of reality.
Nope, He didn’t care about my sobriety. He wanted to fix those other deeper problems knowing that my relapsing was just a symptom. Because He wanted to make it easier for me. That’s how much He cares for me.
You need to get to a meeting of recovery,Then prove to your sons dad that you are capable of having him at weekends. I don’t know your situation but at only three years old there’s no school day involved so you can still do all you want with him in the times you do have I know how painful it is . My daughter lives with her dad and he will not pick her up on Sundays even if I pay his petrol .She lives 15 miles away and there’s no bus on a Sunday so I can only have her from Friday until Saturday .she’s at school so I can’t have her in the week either . I am grateful for the time I do have and am making memories with her …The self pity party train left my station two months ago and I’m not getting back on it nor am drinking on it . I’m making the best out of what I have , this disease has taken enough already and we have to take responsibility and accountability for our actions
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