I am curious, one vs too many…
What is “sobriety?”
Thanks for answering.
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Of course. One is one too many.
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Well i think considering you are in control of your own counter it’s a personal choice at the end of the day. Are you trying to totally quit or are you trying to cut back and take a more mindful approach and cut back but still imbibe. Do you have a serious problem or on that is slightly problematic. You have to search within yourself to figure out your personal goals and why you are doing what you are doing to fully answer that for yourself. I personally reset it everytime even though i normally dont have more than 2-4 beers and nothing else but im also a polly addict and cant drink without really wanting a bump so i know i have to completely give up both to have any success. Whatever you decide i truly hope it works out in your favor.
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One is too many, 1000 is never enough!
As this is a forum/community that promotes abstinence, not moderation, I bet all my Squid legs, you will get the same answer over and over again.
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Welcome to Talking Sober Darlene. For me it’s simple. If I have a drink I’m not sober. End of. Same goes for any joint I smoke, or pill I pop, or snort, or needle in my arm… You get the idea. That’s not sober.
This place is called Talking Sober for a reason. There might be places that promote moderation or controlled use of drugs, this is not such a place. I am here because I lost control over the use of alcohol and drugs and I am firmly convinced that I am never going to find it back. The control I have is total abstinence. For me it’s never again. One day at a time. Wishing you all success on your own journey.
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1000 is definitely not enough 
.
I had different sobriety dates for my variouse addiction. Now I just count the last time I got lit.
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Welcome @Dar! You’ve made a great choice to tackle sobriety, with help from this community. To reiterate previous posts, sobriety is the abstinence of any mind altering drinks and substances in your body. Even one drink. In the TS community, abstinence is promoted, not moderation. Moderation discussions may actually derail some people’s attempts to get sober, so here, we work with abstinence.
Lapses (one off use) or relapses (sustained use) may occur, and are common to many stories. Not saying this is the case with yourself. If it happens, we are here to support you whenever you feel the need. Stick around, read some stories, advice and have a chat. You’ve got this!
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Moderation works for some, but not for me. Lord knows I tried to only have one. And then I tried again. And again. And again… and I kept trying. And trying. And then I tried some more. Eventually I got the message. I am not one of those people who can only drink occasionally.
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I really thank all of you for your collective insight.
I wondered if sobriety was subjective for each individual or complete abstinence was the requirement.
I love reading about how lives are transformed positively by the eliminating bad habits.
I feel like I self-sooth with food, primarily. Then alcohol, then poker. I drink 1 to 2 cups of coffee daily. Yes, I have some trauma history and have worked hard to have balance in life.
Thanks
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I think in some ways both of these statements are true. I mean as everyone pointed out by definition the word sober means compate absence but I think what each person is abstaining from can vary slightly. For example some people make giving up nic to be a part of there sobriety and some people consider themselves sober despite still using nic. Ive even heard of some rehab facilities in legal states that allow weed smoking as a tool to help with harder substances while obviously most don’t. You say you drink coffee and that could be considered an addiction but i dont know anyone who says there not sober because they use caffeine. At the end of the day if it helps dont think about what is or isn’t considered sobriety from a technical standpoint but rather ask what are my goals? Why am i doing this? What do i stand to gain or lose? Then come up with a game plan then follow through.
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I took part in this. It was called “high Sobriety”. It was mostly war veterans who did this. They said they would rather smoke weed than take all the nasty medication the doctors were giving them. Not gonna lie, they seemed pretty good to me. It helped me stop using meth. But then it became a monster of a problem for me, and I didnt notice till i troed stopping. Theres actually a documentary on this topic. Its really good. Thats how I became interested.
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For me? I can’t tell you how much effort I put into trying to moderate. Years of effort. Inevitably, I would fail at it, and make a new plan. (Not on weeknights. One on weeknights. Not alone. NEVER in the morning. But one in the morning alone under {insert whatever} conditions… Get the idea?)
I simply can’t moderate. Even if I could today, well, my past shows me I won’t be able to tomorrow. My past also shows me that the longer I tried to moderate, the worse it got, the lower it went.
Sobriety, for me, is 100% abstinence from alcohol (my DoC) and all mind-altering substances. Nearly 600 days of sobriety later, and I can say with certainty that I do not miss the effort of trying to moderate. There was no freedom in it.
Also? Nothing like waking up without a hangover. 
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I can resonate with some of your story. I love how you explained the moderation rules. I know alcohol creeps up on a person. It’s just doing its job. It’s like a slow insidious progression.
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Oh man. I’ve tried to leave coffee I’ve tried Mud Water, tea, matcha, and other types of mushroom blends. They’re all garbage lol idk if it’s because my DOC was a stimulant, but I’m not conformable if I’m not a bit jittery 
. It’s not like im crushing caffeine pills and snorting them but I do need at least 1 coffee a day. If i don’t have it my head is POUNDING all day.
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Yeah i know what you mean. I was forced into stimulate addiction at 5 years old. Riddlen, then Adderall, then came the coffee, then cigs, then molly and coke around the same time so that is 26 out of 31 years at this point that i dont think i have gone a day without some stimulant in me.
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For me, because it was not my doc and because i only have alcohol in very special occasions i did not reset my clock.
It depends on the relationship you have with it in my honest opinion
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Damn. Kids are WAY Over-diagnosed with ADHD. I am so sorry you had to go through that.
Not to say you’re situation was an misdiagnosis, I just know too many kids talking meds are more harmed than helped.
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There is no such thing as one drink.
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Exactly @TheWolf — If we could manage to have just 1 drink, we wouldn’t be alcoholics. Don’t ever think you’re “good” or “can handle it”. If we could manage it, we would & we wouldn’t need the program or HP.
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