Does it take 2 years? Help

Hi all. I’m trying to figure out how to get my life back together. Been on and off drinking forever since I was 18. Longest I’ve ever been sober was 30 days. I’m going to be 45 next month. Trying to find the best way to actually achieve sobriety in my crazy life. I think I need to start with a therapist, as well as join some aa meetings. I’m a functioning alcoholic, but not sure if that is really a true statement because is anyone that’s an alcoholic actually functioning?

Anyways just venting and trying to figure out how to keep myself on some path. Anytime I get sober the first 7 days are the hardest. However I’ve never made it past 30 days so, that’s why I ask the question because I saw an amazing post about how it takes a full 2 years till you actually find yourself.

I really just want a better life for myself, I know I can be amazing, but I think it’s the alcohol that is truly holding me back at being the best person I can be. Especially when I look at how it’s really been so long I’ve been on a drug that is so accessible and accepted by society.

How do I know me anymore.


Hello there :wave:

I don’t quite understand what you mean with “does it take 2 years to find yourself”?

I’m sure there are lots of people out there who have two or more years of sobriety under their belt and they are still working their recovery program each and every day. Have they found what they are looking for? Well, I guess they are all finding it over and over again, each and every day.

I don’t think you can put an end date on your sobriety/recovery work. And looking towards tge future and imagining all those weeks, months and years of work can be quite dauning and it’s probably holding you back.

We say ONE DAY AT A TIME for a reason. You focus on today, stay sober for today, work your sobriety for today, go to bed sober just for today.
And waking up you just do it one more day.

Good luck on your path


I am exactly two years sober today so I feel especially qualified to tell you that you can’t stop at two.

Two years ago I was stopping and starting my sobriety all the time. I would make a plan to quit drinking and then forget every night that I went out looking for alcohol.

Sober days started stacking when I started spending time on this site. Talk to other people when you want a drink and then the conversations become fun and beyond a need for support. You start making connections with people and wanting to interact and live life again.

Keep at it. I believe you can do it. There is not a single thing I miss about my old drinking life.


Try A meeting get a sponsor get phone numbers , dont try to analyze ,action is needed wish you well


I don’t think you can put an exact number on it, but I heard the first 5 years are often called “early sobriety”.
Which I didn’t really believe, but my first year was the early struggle, then the pink cloud, the second year was pretty stable, and my third year has been tough, sober, but realizing I have much to learn about who I am and what I want, and how I can live. I think that is probably a lifelong journey.


I’m not looking, however at 5+ years, I really have not found myself…I’m ok with this…its no biggie, Im just workin on life.

Be well on your journey


Alcohol will most certainly hold you back, but the drinking is a symptom, not the problem.

The finding yourself (in sobriety) may mean uncovering the reason why you drink and resolving that, which does take time.

I think once you resolve the root cause of your drinking, then you will be to reach your full potential.

Stick around and share your journey!


Yeah it’s a real thing, but it doesn’t mean your functioning the way you should be, it just means you ain’t dead yet. You have to try different things to figure out what works for you, nobody’s sobriety path is the same. I spent years relapsing, until tried rehab, and that got me sober. Might work for you, might not. You really have to want to be sober, you can’t half ass it. This community helps a great deal. Keep showing up and taking suggestions, from the people here who have years of sobriety under their belt. They apparently doing something right. :v::green_heart:


You find yourself everyday. I mean wherever you go there you are. What you are referring to is the fact that it takes up to (depending on how heavy you used and what you used and how long you used and such factors) for your brain to reach homeostasis. Basically meaning it can take up to that long for your feel good neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin that have been depleted over the years to reach there natural baseline that they were at before you ever used. This is why you gotta take it slow and steady. Just one second, minute, day at a time. I mean looking at the big picture can get overwhelming. We crave instant gratification/a quick fix which if you focus on the now you can still achieve just not in the same way. Like petting your dog or playing a video game. Something that releases a small hit of endorphins and keeps you grounded on the now and not all the mistakes of the past or scareness of the future and how much longer you have in the journey. Also everyone can learn from delayed gratification. In most areas of life it is a big key in success. Statistically most millionaires got to that point not by earning all that money but by investing it in smart long term investments and waiting for the long-term gratification instead of spending it all in the moment on fancy cars and clothes. In a similar manner that quick fix is basically the same as the cars and clothes and long term sobriety is like the long term smart investment.


Definitely go to AA! It has helped me stay sober for 7+ years. First meeting can be scary but you don’t even have to talk if you don’t want. Just say it’s your first meeting. Everyone there will have been exactly where you are. You don’t have to wait two years to feel huge rewards. I wish you luck on your journey.


Thank you all for the amazing responses.

I have a business partner who basically drinks every time we go out, meet up for meetings, or go out anywhere together. I know he’ll except me not drinking as he has before, just gonna make it more difficult.
I also want so much more for myself too though.
So I don’t know if it’s gonna take me having to walk away from my business to fully recover, or become who I can and should be.

I’m at a point in life, that I truly want peace and happiness. My fiancé is an ex addict and doesn’t like my drinking at all, because she says I’m mean when I drink.
I know I definitely get short tempered, so I don’t want her or my son to deal with that either.

The reason I’m so curious about the two year mark I believe everyone has already answered.

I know alcohol has a huge chemical effect on our bodies, but I guess I didn’t realize how deep that could really go.

I want to enjoy every day again, with out the need to have a drink to finally slow down and relax.



Let me introduce you to YOU.
This a new you.
Go learn you and get to know you.
7 sober days at a time
Then more.
Have a great time at 30.
Then 90.
It’s OK. You won’t like the old you but i can, with very high hopes, that you will like the new you even better


Hi hope this finds you well . Try meetings and different meetings it took me acouple different meetings till i found the one i liked and felt comfortable committing too …its not a forever group of people your married too …ive bumped heads with acouple in my group and its normal … Find a meeting place you like and get a sponsor and work the steps and phone numbers … 2nd The whole getting to know yourself i love that but it was also something in my way early Soberity starting and i told my therapist something along of the lines i wanna find my full self and how scared i was honestly too … But i feel like now days its alil scary but no one really has that 100 percent connection of whom they are and if someone does i would like to meet them . its reality we as people just learn more what makes us and always constantly leaning who we are as people .i feel like the self connection gets better mind body spirit and also growth gets better… you cant also beat yourself up failing at times …you proved you can go sometime without drinking great awesome news thats a start a good get a plan in place now and try to stick to it of its 1 in person meeting and if you need another they got online ones .i was alawys told by my sponsor if i had time to drink i had time for a meeting and put in work in Soberity…whenever im home i try to spend time with my with the wife but i always hold a meeting at a local treatment facility its constantly
busy life trying to balance work and traveling and spending it with the wife and holding meetings…


One day at a time. You will have a good and bad days just like the rest of us. It’s how you react to it will depend on the outcome. All you have is a today right now this second. Small steps.

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