Hi , I’ve reached my week today , it’s been tough, Thanks to being able to come here and know people are going through the same has kept me going . However I feel I want to do this alone at home. I don’t feel in a position to tell my husband or family. I find it easier to work things through myself and feel anyone else that knows is extra pressure. Is this normal. My husband has been judgemental when I’ve tried to quit before which maybe why I don’t feel I can talk to him . Will I be able to open up with time.
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I think so. As u become more used to the new normal of not drinking, u accept it yourself and it becomes easier to talk about it. I am sure people will notice if u stop drinking / using, or whatever ur doc (drug of choice) is, whether u talk about it or not. In what way is ur husband judgemental? For me, I had tried to quit so many times, only time would make him trust me again.
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Talking to some family/friends can wait until you’ve reached a point where you have to let the cat out of the bag so to speak. You can’t hide forever, and think about this- why would you want to hide the fact that you have made an important life changing decision that takes strength and courage? Sound frightening? Any change worth making is going to feel uncomfortable. But my advice is to tell your husband. I don’t know what kind of relationship you have, but in most of our experiences here on this forum- you can’t do it alone. You need the support of someone in your real life. I promise it will be worth it.
Crack that shell open! 
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Hey Beccy, I absolutely get your concerns regarding talking to your family. I feel the same way about talking to any people in my life at all…
It’s been 3 and 1/2 years since I started questioning my drinking habits and about a year of recovery and seriously trying/wanting to be sober. Just came out of a relapse.
I only told ONE person, a close friend of mine a couple of days ago. Just now, after all this time.
I was really scared how she would react, because most of my drinking was in secret and she couldn’t have guessed.
All she did was being absolutely supportive and wonderful. She even thanked me for trusting her.
I’m so glad I started talking about my addiction and it feels like 100 pounds have been lifted off my shoulders. Such a big part of my live I’ve been hiding for ages … it’s the first time I made any progress outside of my own head and I can’t explain to you how good that felt.
I’m not yet ready to talk to my family, but I want to work my way up to that one day.
Maybe, just maybe it could be helpful to talk to your husband? Or maybe a friend? 
Edit: what I wanted to say with this novel: I wish I started talking about it sooner, because dealing with everything on my own got me nowhere … I believe in you 
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Only people know am soberity is my po and few friends and few family members and my social worker and my nurse and psychologist
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I just started this journey it has not even been a day yet. My biggest worry was always speaking to my family (parents and sibling). My husband has been very supportive but I know he doesn’t truly understand what I go through. That’s ok and I have accepted that. I’m just glad that I can speak to him on how I feel and he will listen and try his very best to understand (that’s all can ask for). But my parents and sibling is a whole different topic. I have never felt close with them and I feel that the only time I feel comfortable speaking with them is when I’m drinking. I am trying to figure out why and how all of this started. But for now I’m just trying to focus on myself and my health. My plan is to take this one step at a time and hopefully throughout this journey I will be able to learn more about myself. Thank you for posting this. It really touched my heart knowing I’m not the only person feeling this way.
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I think it’s because he’s seen me try and fail so many times when I say I’m going to stop drinking I get , “yeah heard that before”, he doesn’t understand he thinks it’s easy , he says you just stop that’s it .
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You do you. Imho, when the time is right you’ll open up more. I learned “share, check, share” early in my recovery. That means to share just a little bit with someone, see how they react (supportive or not, or do they talk about themselves or change subject). If response is supportive, share a little more. With people I don’t trust, I do keep guarded, too. Building trust takes time for me.
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I totally understand , we did split last year for 5 months due to my drinking and other issues. We have 5 children so agreed to work through it but stress really has added to my drinking , I really want him to understand but I havnt the mental energy at the moment to carry us both , if that makes sense. I find it a struggle explaining things in my own head let alone explain my feelings to him too . Maybe I will in time .
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This is just my personal take on it and I know peoples situations are different but for me coming clean with my closest family members early on made the difference for me. it is really hard to open up but it helps reaffirm the commitment to stop and you also get support when things are tough. In all my previous attempts I tried it on my own and ultimately failed, but when I opened up that I had a problem and needed help that’s when it actually came together for me. Well done on making one week, and wish you all the support and help you need to continue your AF journey.
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I hear you. Sometimes he would ask “Are u going to drink today?” And I would say “no” and he would ask "“How do u know? What is different today?”, I mean jeez what else do u want me to say? It got better, but it took time.
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So I just finally talked to family just now, 17 days sober. They do not know yet. I had a huge falling out with Dad by phone on Xmas eve, no contact with any fam since then. Got sober for January and now realize I want it for life.
I did not tell my family for same reasons, no need for the extra pressure and excitement from them. To much weird pressure. Until now.
Called my sister and told her. Also asked her opinions on how to reconnect with Dad.
She and I are really close. However, she just can’t believe me. She is in shock. We laughed about that, but still she can’t believe it. I told her to sleep on it and well talk again tomorrow.
LOL
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I wrote out a paragraph of nothingness and deleted…lol…I can really do is wish you the best. Be well
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I was just thinking about this myself… I am early in almost a week and my mother and best friend know for the sole reason they are both nurses and I had called them both about my recent ER trip… My dad and step mom do not know::: I tried to tell my dad last night about injury and “hey dad I am a alcoholic getting sober” and he was checking his blood pressure bc he was so stressed about something else … I was like … ummmm not right now lol 
I personally Think when it feels right for you 
-but again I am early In just like you- I am trying not to add extras to myself and concentrate on positive and present… sending hugs, bunch of love and support your way
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Glad to be traveling this road with you.
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