My husband told me he wants a divorce today. I’m not gonna drink. But I’m not ok.
Sorry to hear that Nicki! We’re here if you want to talk about it.
Glad you are not going to drink but I understand you’re in rough waters right now
Please keep coming here to vent, it helps a bit to get the edge off. Do you have people back home who are close by who you can talk to as well?
Sending you a big hug
You seem to be doing just fine to me (in terms of using the app). All any of us do is reply to each other or start a new thread if we want a fresh conversation. If it will help, there is some basic information below.
Welcome to Talking Sober (TS)! 2024 Update!
In terms of this thread, you have my sympathies. That is a hard thing to hear from a partner. You have been sober for a while (I checked on your profile) so it seems that alcohol was not the only issue in your relationship (it rarely is, IMO, it certainly wasn’t / isn’t in mine). You also have small kids so it really is a hard situation to be in. Have you tried things to work through your issues before? Would your partner be open to it?
Definitely drinking will make a bad situation worse, you are wise to reach out instead. I hope you can get through this tough time.
The app can take a little getting used to, but you are doing great. Sorry to hear about your husband. I agree that not drinking at the problem will help you. All we can do is move forward in a positive manner. Maybe try a meeting? They help a lot of people and you could probably use the real life community right now I imagine. Sending hugs. Keep checking in here, lots of people have been where you are. You can do this.
That is such a hard thing to hear - I’m sorry, I know it shakes the ground underneath you.
You’re right that not drinking is the only way forward. That’s a good sign for you personally at least. You will have your sober steps on the ground, your feet in place, your mind unclouded by booze. That’s the best place for you to be, to get through this.
Stick with us here. Share more if you’d like. You are not alone.
I am 2.5 hours away from family. I moved here with my husband just before son was born. I’ve gone to a lot of meeting this lasy year and a half and have some good folks. But life is busy and messy. Don’t really have anyone who I’m close with to talk to.
I’m not sure I can make it to a meeting as my husband is I credibly angry and I don’t think he will watch the kids so I can attend. I’ve done lots of zoom meetings but can’t really be fully present with taking care of the kids needs at the same time.
We have been in couples counseling for a while not and both have individual therapy as well. It hasn’t helped clearly. And it’s hard to find childcare (which is 100% my responsibility as are most things) it puts major stress on me to get all things in place just so we can go.
Well, stick with those zoom meetings if you can.
Been there. In my case my wife wanted the divorce because I was not able to stop my drug addiction. After the divorce I felt terribly guilty for a whole year and slowly got used to my new single life. I am with you and I partially understand.(but this whole process maybe saved my life who knows)
I am really really sorry. Glad you will not drink. Even if you can not fully focus on the online meeting. Listen to it. And take the most out of it for now. You know the meetings work. All the best
Hey Nicole – I am so sorry to hear this. Here if you need to talk. Grateful you will not be drinking over it (that only makes matters worse).
BTW - I think you are working this app just fine. Feel free to ask if you have any questions
#update
The last 36 hours were incredibly difficult, lots of tears, an emergency session with my therapist, as well as my prescribing doctor (who would not increase my meds or try a different one as the one I’m taking now isn’t working)
But through all that. I was finally able to face my husband, ask some hard questions, receive equally hard and hurtful answers.
But we both cried it out and decided to keep trying therapy and stick with marriage Counceling.
I have hope. Marriage and relationships aren’t for the faint of heart.
And I still haven’t taken a drink.
Fear is real. But I’m so glad that I stumbled upon this app. The support that I’ve received this far has been desperately needed and accepted with such gratitude and gratefulness.
I am committed to my marriage as I am also completed committed to the program of AA.
I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it, the community and the program of AA is unlike any that I’ve ever experienced.
So very grateful that you utilized the support around you and did not drink during this difficult time.
Glad you two were able to have some hard conversations and are going to work on your marriage. So true when you say marriage is not for the faint of heart.
Keep working your recovery friend…glad you are here with us