I’m sitting here replaying all of the embarrassing things I’ve done when on a binge/blackout- a few of which I can’t get out of my head even years later. Things I never would have done sober…EVER. Like an alien took over my body and I regret something I feel I had no control over.
Who’s felt like this? How’ve you forgiven yourself and gotten over the shame?
Thanks
<3
Yep, yep and yep. I’ve done horrible things. That’s why I work the steps. It allows me to deal with the wreckage of my past while still living in today.
As the saying goes “time takes time”
Oh absofuckinglutely. I lived with shame and self loathing for years from things I had done while drunk. Gonna have to forgive yourself. Let it go.
Using it to work and relate with others who are in recovery/sobriety really helps me.
I no longer run from my past, nor wish to shut the door on it.
30 years drugs and alcohol, and what slapped the taste of alcohol and the drugs out a my mouth was several blackouts. Don’t remember and after told what happened glad I don’t. Since then clean and sober 248 days. Never felt better before. Thank God
Yeah, like @C-sun, I have a couple things going to the grave with me. But I definitely regret them and I’m continually trying to find ways to keep it in the past where it belongs. Constantly giving is over to my higher power and accepting forgiveness as well as realizing that that is not who I am anymore. In fact it was never who I really was. Not the real me. Those regrets and shame and self loathing are the very things that kept me drinking like I was in the first place. Vicious ridiculous cycle. You’ve got to jump off of that merry go round and find your way to forgive yourself and let them go. Thats not who you are and doesnt get to define you. YOU do. And thank God we get to keep redefining ourselves. New day, new you!
I was to a point of blackout drinking every single time. Then listening to embarrassing stories afterwards, or suffering wounds from unknown sources. I have found that the longer I hold my shame in secrecy , the longer I suffer from anxiety , depression and guilt from it. I am fortunate to have a husband that I can confess to…Once I let out my “confession”, I immediately feel better. I still feel some shame and embarrassment, and some things from the past will always follow me in a legal sense, but I am just trying to get by each day…try to deal with the emotions that surface, and pray every day for the right people to be put in my life.
I deal with this most days. I just keep telling myself (like a mantra) that it is in the past. There is nothing we can do about the past so why dwell on it. All we can do is learn from it and do better.
It’s hard. Like I said I deal with this most days. I often catch myself cringing and squirming over something stupid I’ve done and I need to shake myself out of it.
When the shame, and regrets pop up, I tell myself that’s who I was then. It’s not who I am now, and not who I want to be again. Forgiveness was a big part of my healing process, and I couldn’t forgive others without forgiving myself.
Fine words. And I feel like I relate to them a lot. I have trouble forgiving myself. It will probably take a long to really do that. Everything is still too new and fresh. But I’ll get there.
Thanks mate 
I love this forum. Its given me a positive outlook that I never really had before. 
I’m with you on this as well @C-sun. Definitely some things going to the grave with me that would do not good for anyone by me unburdening. Forgiving myself is all that really matters.
Live 50+ years, gonna have more than a few regrets. My biggest drinking - related regret is that I ignored my family. I regret the hours passed out in my chair, or alone in my drinking. I’ll likely miss those moments even more, as my time in this world moves to sunset.
But for now, I can waste not a moment more. Make every hug count. Be really present. Love and be loved. This is why sobriety is a gift.
I deal with feelings of shame and regret every day. I hate the memories that come back. Memories from recent times, and suppressed long ago memories.
A good friend with 3 years clean off heroin told me once, I can’t change what happened and drinking won’t change it either. So what’s the other option? Dealing with it…Walk confidently, and have a plan and follow it to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Forgive yourself.