Who ever reads this know one thing your not alone in your struggle!
When your brain feels like it’s on fire and the only thing it wants is a substance - just give yourself a moment, a minute or two to know that substance isn’t what you really desire your just so used to relying on that substance through good and bad!
Recovery is possible, you can live a clean life if you desire to, the magic and strength you need is inside of you, it might take you once to get clean/sober or it might take 19 lapses to get there.
SO WHAT!?! we are not perfect
The one tool I’ve learnt is to be kind to myself as when I decide to blame myself, get angry at my situation, feel that self destruction button is gonna be pressed… That’s when all the negativity seeps through making it feel like a chore just to be clean/sober.
Its not a chore after a while, the struggles are not to powerful or intense.
Recovering is possible, if you just put a little bit of hope back into yourself the positives will come.