Dont have hope

Relapses
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I dont know what to do ,the maximum i can stay sober is for 5 days ,and after that i relapse .how can i stay sober for a long period ???
Anyone have an experience or an advice :pensive:

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Hi, and welcome to the community! Have you heard of “This naked mind” from Annie Grace?
Highly recommended read for changing your perception on alcohol! Also checking in here daily makes a big difference! Hope to see you around! :muscle:t2:

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Thank you for ur reply :blush: .i’ll check out the book u suggested .Also my addiction is quite different ,I am addicted to phone usage like i use it for atleast 10hrs a day sometimes skipping the sleep cycle , and it affects my academics very badly . But i’ll get out of it one day :triumph:

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Oops! Sorry! I don’t know why I just assumed you were talking about alcohol! Not sure if there’s anybody of the “oldies” on here specialized in phone addiction? :thinking:
Maybe try the :mag_right: and see if you can find information on the topic!

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Welcome Wolf, this community itself is a great tool for sobriety. Check in here on the daily checkin thread, read what itgers suggest and check out the resources on here.

The goal is preventing the first drink. I would make 2 lists. 1. Reasons you dont want to drink anymore. What have you lost? Who have you hurt? What will happen if you drink again? Keep it sonewhere you can re read before you take a drink. 2. A list of things you can do before you drink. Check in here, walk, do an AA meeting, make tea, take a nap, call your grandma, anything.

Sobriety is possible, one day at a time. You dont have to think about forever. If i start to think that way I will drink. I just have to say “im not going to drink today,” or even “im not going to drink for an hour.” Then we do it again. It gets easier the more you do it, so if you cant get past day 5, you need to have a solid plan in place for day 6.

There is so much good advice on this forum but tgese thi gs have helped me the most

Edit: i see that its a phone addiction but i think most still works!

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That’s okay ,i’ll try it :blush:.

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Thank you for ur advice @SarahBear .i’ll try it :blush:and the main reason i decided to get into this sober app is to watch and experience this community so that it motivates and makes me feel stronger whenever i decide to relapse and when u guys reply and give me ur insights it really makes my day .Thank you :heart:

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Hey Wolfe, welcome! I would try making a list of other activities you can do BEFORE you pick up your phone and spend hours on it. Also, maybe find a friend who can help hold you accountable when you do slip.

I would also say that this app may not be the best for you since your addiction is phone usage and this app can only be used while you’re on your phone. It may become counterproductive for you unless you are REALLY able to limit your time.

Wish you the best of luck!!

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Hi! I also have a phone addiction and it is DIFFICULT to stay sober, I know how you feel! :disappointed:

Are you in a recovery program? The biggest thing that helped me was joining a program specifically for people who have the same addiction. ITAA (internet and tech addicts anonymous) is the biggest I know of, with the best resources. Even if you don’t follow their exact method, it’s so helpful just to listen to dozens of people who are all struggling with the same thing and can answer really specific problems that you run into. (I should also mention Media Addicts Anonymous, they have a slightly different vibe so you may want to try both and see which you’re more comfortable with)

Keep trying! I know it’s so hard, but if you can do 5 days, that’s incredible! And it means that with practice, with more tools and strategies and support, one day you’ll make it to 6, then 7, :blue_heart::two_hearts:

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Ill try it :blush:.Thank you for ur suggestion :heart:

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Yeah true . To overcome phone addiction i have set a time limit .So i will be using sober only in that speculated time :blush: .Thank you for ur advice :heart:

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Hi @Wolf490, welcome to Talking Sober :wave: :innocent: Sorry to hear about your phone addiction. Phones - specifically the software on phones (any software which is trying to get your attention) - are designed to attract attention and engagement from phone owners, and phone owners who are prone to addiction are susceptible to falling into the “rabbit hole” of losing themselves in the phone (much like other addicts lose themselves in sex or drugs).

There are users here on Talking Sober who have grappled with technology-related addictions. I hope he won’t mind, but I’ll tag one member I know of (@Crazy_Dutchie), who has shared about his journey recovering from gaming. Here’s one thread where he shared some of his experiences:

Recovery from any addiction is always one day at a time. Stay connected - connecting with other people helps keep you out of the addiction pit - and keep learning from other people who are recovering from addiction. It works if you work it.

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I have found it helpful to delete all social media apps, except TS and Letterboxd (for movies). I was never on Facebook, but I spent several hours a day on my BlueSky accounts, especially when I was drinking. I am an alcoholic, and I primarily used social media for news and porn, but i have been much happier since I closed my accounts and deleted the app.

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Welcome aboard @Wolf490
Hope this helps…

Self-help tips for smartphone addiction

There are a number of steps you can take to get your phone and internet use under control. While you can initiate many of these measures yourself, an addiction is hard to beat on your own, especially when temptation is always within easy reach. It can be all too easy to slip back into old patterns of usage. Look for outside support, whether it’s from family, friends, or a professional therapist.

To help you identify your problem areas, keep a log of when and how much you use your smartphone for non-work or non-essential activities. There are specific apps that can help with this, enabling you to track the time you spend on your phone. Are there times of day that you use your phone more? Are there other things you could be doing instead?

The more you understand your smartphone use, the easier it will be to curb your habits and regain control of your time.

Tip 1: Recognize your triggers
What makes you reach for your phone? Is it when you’re lonely or bored? If you are struggling with depression, stress, or anxiety, for example, your excessive smartphone use might be a way to self-soothe rocky moods. Instead, find healthier and more effective ways of managing your moods, such as practicing relaxation techniques.

Build your coping skills. Perhaps tweeting, texting or blogging is your way of coping with stress or managing anger. Or maybe you have trouble relating to others and find it easier to communicate with people online. Building skills in these areas will help you weather the stresses and strains of daily life without relying on your smartphone.

Recognize any underlying problems that may support your compulsive behavior. Have you had problems with alcohol or drugs in the past? Does anything about your smartphone use remind you of how you used to drink or use drugs to numb or distract yourself?

Tip 2: Seek support offline
Human beings are social creatures. We’re not meant to be isolated or to rely on technology for human interaction. Socially interacting with another person face-to-face—making eye contact, responding to body language—can make you feel calm, safe, and understood, and quickly put the brakes on stress.

Interacting through text, email or messaging bypasses these nonverbal cues so won’t have the same effect on your emotional well-being. Besides, online friends can’t hug you when a crisis hits, visit you when you’re sick, or celebrate a happy occasion with you.

Strengthen your support network. Set aside dedicated time each week for friends and family. If you are shy, there are ways to overcome social awkwardness and make lasting friends without relying on social media or the internet.

Find people with similar interests by reaching out to colleagues at work, joining a sports team or book club, enrolling in an education class, or volunteering for a good cause. You’ll be able to interact with others like you, let relationships develop naturally, and form friendships that will enhance your life and strengthen your health.

Tip 3: Modify your phone use, step-by-step
For most people, getting control over their smartphone and internet use isn’t a case of quitting cold turkey. Think of it more like going on a diet. Just as you still need to eat, you probably still need to use your phone for work, school, or to stay in touch with friends. Your goal should be to cut back to more healthy levels of use.

Set goals for when you can use your smartphone. For example, you might schedule use for certain times of day, or you could reward yourself with a certain amount of time on your phone once you’ve completed a homework assignment or finished a chore, for instance.
Turn off your phone at certain times of the day, such as when you’re driving, in a meeting, at the gym, having dinner, or playing with your kids. Don’t take your phone with you to the bathroom.
Don’t bring your phone or tablet to bed. The blue light emitted by the screens can disrupt your sleep if used within two hours of bedtime. Turn devices off and leave them in another room overnight to charge. Instead of reading eBooks on your phone or tablet at night, pick up a book. You’ll not only sleep better but research shows you’ll also remember more of what you’ve read.
Replace your smartphone use with healthier activities. If you are bored and lonely, resisting the urge to use your smartphone can be very difficult. Have a plan for other ways to fill the time, such as meditating, reading a book, or chatting with friends in person.
Play the “phone stack” game. Spending time with other smartphone addicts? Play the “phone stack” game. When you’re having lunch, dinner, or drinks together, have everyone place their smartphones face down on the table. Even as the phones buzz and beep, no one is allowed to grab their device. If someone can’t resist checking their phone, that person has to pick up the check for everyone.
Remove social media apps from your phone so you can only check Facebook, Twitter and the like from your computer. And remember: what you see of others on social media is rarely an accurate reflection of their lives—people exaggerate the positive aspects of their lives, brushing over the doubts and disappointments that we all experience. Spending less time comparing yourself unfavorably to these stylized representations can help to boost your mood and sense of self-worth.
Limit checks. If you compulsively check your phone every few minutes, wean yourself off by limiting your checks to once every 15 minutes. Then once every 30 minutes, then once an hour. If you need help, there are apps that can automatically limit when you’re able to access your phone.
Curb your fear of missing out. Accept that by limiting your smartphone use, you’re likely going to miss out on certain invitations, breaking news, or new gossip. There is so much information available on the internet, it’s almost impossible to stay on top of everything, anyway. Accepting this can be liberating and help break your reliance on technology.
Tip 4: Find treatment for phone and internet addiction
If you need more help to curb your smartphone or internet use, there are now specialist treatment centers that offer digital detox programs to help you disconnect from digital media. Individual and group therapy can also give you a tremendous boost in controlling your technology use.

Therapy such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can provide step-by-step ways to stop compulsive behaviors and change your perceptions about your phone. Therapy can also help you learn healthier ways of coping with uncomfortable emotions—such as stress, anxiety, or depression—that may be fueling your smartphone use.

Marriage or couples counseling. If excessive use of internet pornography or online affairs is affecting your relationship, counseling, either in-person or via an online therapy platform, can help you work through these challenging issues and reconnect with your partner.

Group support. Organizations such as Internet Tech Addiction Anonymous (ITAA) and On-Line Gamers Anonymous offer online support and face-to-face meetings to curb excessive technology use. Of course, you need real-life people to benefit fully from any addiction support group. Online support groups can be helpful in finding sources of assistance, but it’s easy to use them as an excuse to spend even more time on your smartphone. Sex Addicts Anonymous can be a place to try if you’re having trouble with cybersex addiction.

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Absolutely, This Naked Mind changed my life.

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This is really helpful :pray:. And that phone stack game I am gonna try that ,thank you for ur tips :heart:

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I’ll make it work :muscle:.no matter what :triumph:.

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I have no experience with phone addiction but I want to stop by and say Welcome to TS :sunflower:

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Is it your phone in general calling texting etc? Or is it certain apps that suck you in?

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Hi Wolf, I too struggle with technology addiction. I’ll be honest with you, our addiction is one sadistic son of a bitch. It makes us believe it isn’t severe because it’s nothing compared to alcohol or drug addiction right? But at the same time it’s damn near impossible to get rid of it. Our addiction is an addiction to dopamine. Any behaviour that can give dopamine can become an addiction to us. For example, some of mine:
Gaming
Shorts
Tv
Lego
Reading
Gambling
Spending money
Crosswords
And the list goes on.
Honestly, apart from knowledge about our addiction, there’s little advice I can give about quitting it. I have not come anywhere near to success myself. A game changer for me has been following the 12 steps though. It has helped me tremendously with the pain addiction gave me.
I wish you the best of luck in your journey!

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