Day one.
I am in such a doom spiral. Just full of self hatred. Sorry for the grim post. I just dont know where else to vent. Ive got friends and a wonderful family but i dont want to upset them with how low i feel
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Ask for help from them if you need it.
They’ll be more upset that you stayed quiet and never let them know, or gave them a chance to help.
It may seem like you are doing the right thing and that you are “protecting” them, but maybe you’re protecting yourself from having to face things out in the open.
Sounds like you need to trust some people and let them, someone, anyone in to give you a helping hand (or ear… maybe both)
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Dear @Kipper self hatred never helps although I understand perfectly. Today I am sure you did correct things, good things.
One of them is being here connecting
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Welcome back! Stick around and let us support you!
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Hi there @Kipper ! I’m glad you’re back!
Sending you lots of 
because you deserve it.
I understand your thoughts. And sometimes I think it’s easier to vent when needed to people through this forum instead of people I see in day to day life.
And congratulations on day 1!!
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Thanks everyone. I failed day one yesterday, the self hatred was just too loud.
Am feeling better today though, more hopeful. Ive convinved my partner to take some time off from drinking too so hopefully this is a real corner turned.
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good to hear… Also, remember, that self hatred fades with time. It seems to be best friends with super early sobriety. I’ve relapsed more times than I care to remember, but I do know that I used the knowledge that the self hatred wears off. I leaned heavily on the knowledge many times and it helped.
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Better thank you so much for asking. Still far from great but not quite as bad as i was.
I attended a SMART meeting yesterday which has given me plenty to think about and will hopefully help me feel more connected.
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It is wonderful to hear that you have asked your partner to join you in the effort to sobriety. I can’t imagine how special it would have been to have had someone I love going through this with me in the beginning.
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Thank you. She has a very different approach to drinking than me. She told me last night that until she met me, she never really knew people drank because they were sad or anxious 
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WOW. I wish I could have lived the rest of my life feeling that way. It’s an ugly truth when you dissect the horrors of this disease.
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