Thank you. If you would of seen me at the beginning of this you wouldn’t recognize me. I live in rural Kansas so meetings are not as available. But we do have 3 meetings a week in town. And one of those meetings might have nobody else show up (conflicting night). I also traveled a night or two a week depending on time and need. I don’t know the manic number of meetings a person needs. I’ve heard 90/90 often in an urban area that is easy but out here it’s very hard. One of my favorite meetings was a 4 hour drive round trip for me. As far as reading material the book you have is good. The naked mind has some good things (though I don’t think I agree totally). I am a fan of the AA big book, 12 x 12. And I’m at a loss for other titles that are strictly recovery. I read several religious/spiritual ones too. I don’t want to say your recovery will be exactly like mine. I can sure share what I did to find peace in my life. And the YouTube recommendations I’m not great there as I get distracted to easily watching videos lol. If you search the board for reading material and YouTube there’s plenty. One book I’ve heard good of is Russell Brand And Joe and Charlie are recommended highly covering AA on YouTube. Ask as many questions as you want. I hope you find what several have!!!
Way to go on cutting down and quitting smoking. Best of luck to you 
I hope you figure out what to do about your job. I would say don’t break your back doing your colleagues work if they aren’t willing to pull their weight. Surely your boss must notice this happening? I totally understand the feeling you need to drink to stay asleep I’m an awful sleeper and I often feel too wired after a stressful day to get to sleep at a decent time, recently I take CBD oil and herbal valerian root sleeping tablets before bed if I’m feeling like that which has definately helped some. Hangover and lack of sleep are two combinations which make work 10 times harder I find
You need to identify your triggers and identify what’s overwhelming you at work. You can do it, he positive & remain strong.
I did that too. Last summer was stressful at my job and about twice a week I’d “unwind with a bottle of wine” which turned me into a monster. I walked for more, drove for more. Threw up, embarrassed myself.
I don’t understand why I can’t just have one or two. I keep saying I’ll try it again someday but just not right now. Day 111.
I should add that with lots of work… Seeing my Dr, meditating, exercise, my craving is minimal. In fact, I have better control over my emotions. I used to go insane with anxiety and stress with various triggers but the mindfulness has quieted that down some. Along with softening urges to drink.
I do that too. Go out walking late at night to get more, constantly keep count of how many drinks I have left in the fridge if I’m running low. Drink until I pass out, throw up then keep drinking. Black outs. It’s horrible. I just know one thing right now for sure and it’s that drink is making my problems worse my mental health worse and my physical health worse. I feel very strongly tonight that I want to stop doing this. I want to start by having no alcohol this weekend and I haven’t had any tonight. I think even though I have been drinking lately albeit less than before I know that it’s not sustainable and I’m not in denial anymore. I know how out of control my drinking really is. At least I am being honest with myself in that regard
Congrats on your 111 days that is awesome
I was in the same boat with a high pressure job (attorney) and eventually my drinking and drugging won and I lost everything. Usually high pressure jobs have resources available to deal with substance abuse, I suggest you at least look into them. Because substance abuse is a disease everything is confidential. I really don’t want to see any one end up like me. I’m very happy today, but I went through absolute hell to get here. If you wanna avoid the treatment route AA is beneficial. It has saved my life for sure.
I can relate to the stress and drinking is always the easiest and most available way to escape it, but definitely the worst all around. I would encourage you to find healthier ways to take your mind off of what you’re going through.
Hiking has always helped me and I’m planning to start meditation in order to help my stress and anxiety.
I also try to think what happens if I do decide to have a drink, and all of the negativity it brings into my life because it never ends at one, and never makes me happier in the end.
Stay strong and hit me up if you need to chat.
Thank you im starting small and not drinking this weekend which is normally when I drink the most. But I am really looking forward to not drinking. I have other non drink relates activities planned I like doing such as the museum and cooking. I started drawing again last night and bought myself some new tea (I really love tea) haha. I really appreciate everyone’s responses on here. I woke up this morning feeling good I don’t usually feel good ever at weekends.
I needed to hear that.
You say you drink because of pressure from work, maybe you need to change something about work … is there a way you can share the work load with a team member?
I use to drink and do drugs because of the environment I was in, or because I allowed someone to hurt me. So I set boundaries where I could and stopped hanging around those people. Now I don’t take drugs and I drink way less. Im not saying quit your job or anything… just take a look at ways you can make it less stressful on yourself. Change something up, or else you are going to keep going back to the bottle to unwind from that stressful job,
That’s great! It really is about taking it one day at a time. Use that extra time to take care of yourself and do anything you enjoy. Fake it until you make it. Even if you end up bored it’s miles better than a hangover.
Eventually the routine will set in. Give it 30 days.
You alluded to it enough, what do you do?
Stressy I.T. job. Just another one of my triggers
With the work thing - I have a child so my excuse to not drink is the need to pick her up and I get out of there before they go to the pub. But you could maybe fabricate a course or pick up some exercise training on a Thurs / Friday night. Get out of the office before the first drink is poured. Ps not sure how this pans out long term - trying to figure it out and have asked my own question s of the group. And I also work in IT - 120 people, but the drinks made it worse. Am also trying to change careers at the moment - am studying hoping to find work that is more suited to my personality. I find it stressful when I’m asked to be dishonest or I try and be someone I’m not.
Be kind to yourself - hope you feel better soon and ever day is a new day.
Thank you for this reply I hope you had a good sober weekend. I’m at work tomorrow but not hungover and I want to try to have a good day and not let the stress get to me too much
I can relate… I have a stressful job as well…hang in there
Thanks for sharing this. I remember when I first learned that alcohol was linked to depression. I suffer from clinical depression and the drinking was only making me feel worse. But of course, the addiction lead me to believe that I was drinking because I was depressed, and not depressed because I was drinking. Ah, addiction really is a tricky b*tch.