I’m glad to have read your post, because I’ve always had this fear of having these dreams of using or drinking and I would end up relapsing I have almost 8 months and I haven’t had any dreams like that but then again I don’t have any desires to use or drink I was mostly an alcoholic back in March I was put on end-of-life status at a hospital out here I live the doctors told me that there was nothing they could do for me I was dying there a lot of my three little babies to come say goodbye to me their ages 5, 6, and 7 , never have I felt such heart wrenching sorrow and pain it was at this point in my life where I surrender myself to my higher power which is Jesus Christ, he’s saved my life just wanted to encourage you to continue in your recovery I don’t know who your power power is but I would love to share Jesus Christ with you if you allow?
I’m a spiritual person and I’ve started praying more because I’m always feeling lost and need guidance. You are a strong person to turn it all around and fight and not give up on yourself. I’ve lost friends because of my drinking and even potential friends. People thought I was crazy because of my behavior and recently one of my closest friends who recently told me he’d like me all this time just dropped me back a month and a half ago because of one drinking incident. It made me sad and I felt anxious and my head was in bad place but now I feel better and focused and am moving forward. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be at deaths door but I am glad you are here and being supportive as I am here to support you whenever you need me and I’d love to hear more about god 
