Ok here it goes. It’s my mate’s hen do in a few days. She is Glaswegian so are her friends and the whole event is organised around alcohol, every moment of it. I am only on day 29 of recovery and don’t want to mess up. Almost convinced that even if I go and I manage to resist the drink, I will be considered as the one who ruins the party mood- I don’t know all of them very well but I do know that their plans for this weekend are a version of The Hangover. She is a very good friend and I know that she will be sad if i don’t go but I see no other option.
I guess I should be glad that it is my recovery mind trying to rationalise and not my addicted mind trying to find excuses but still.
Just wondering how you would deal with an invitation on a 3 day ‘bender’ and if you have faced a similar dilemma?
Thanks for all your help, you have all been part of my journey 
What a lovely idea, I hadn’t even thought to do something else-just stuck with the problem. Thank you!
I hear you. Back around day 50 I was supposed to be doing a Susan B Komen Race for the Cure girls weekend in Texas (I am in Florida) with my bestie who is a breast cancer survivor (double mastectomy and reconstruction) with some other friends. I REALLY wanted to be there for her, but knew it would be a 3k walk followed by an afternoon and evening and all the following day and night boozing it up, along with eating and dancing and catching up.
So…I got real real with her and let her know I supported her and so wanted to be there for the walk, but my sobriety was job #1 for me right then. She understood and it was not a huge deal, but it hurt that I couldn’t be there, but it was 100% the right choice for me.
You have to take care of yourself and your sobriety. No shame in that.
Yeah give it a miss and talk to her about it. The temptation will be too great. I’ve got a funeral coming up soon an you will know what the scots are like for drinking at wakes. I’m gonna be tempted. I’m gonna have to dip out as early as i can.
This is quite a similar situation but you are right, recovery comes first. I can’t tell her anything before as it is all a surprise but will do so after. Glad to see that it is not just me exaggerating the seriousness of such situations but truth is that they will never work the same way they used to and that is definitely for the best. Thanks!
Scots are like that everywhere, not just the wakes!
Great you have planned ahead though!
I admit that I have very limited knowledge of what happens before or after a wedding so this ‘briefing’ really helps. I will try to focus on doing something nice for her after instead of worrying about not being there. Thank you 
Think you mean the Irish they like there wakes ect , all you have to do is walk through Glasgow on a sat night and see plenty of sober people if you look lol
Must be my previously blurred vision lol