Drinking in excess

My name is Amanda. I have been through treatment twice. I hated getting sober but I did it. I felt a great sense of accomplishment each time I did I was sober for two years each time I did. This has been my longest relapse. I drink daily and can honestly drink 750 ML of vodka myself a day. I just recently got a DUI and could have killed someone. I hit them head on. I’m a mom, mg worst fear was the woman had a child in her car.

I totaled my car bc I hit this woman in her SUV. The airbag knocked me out (easily. I was 3x my over limit). I then bounced off of another car.

This is my first offense. I literally want to die. I can’t live with the moral guilt I have been carrying. I am a loving person. I do not EVER leave my house when I drink. I should have never met my
Friend. I do not EVER go out. Im so hung up and my heart is broken. As it should be. Not for me, again for the person I hit. I hurt bc I can’t believe I could have even done walked to my car let alone drive it.

My heart hurts. I’m so depressed and I’m so worried I’m going to go to jail.


@Ak47 Welcome and thanks for your share. I really resonate with your story so much! I have never had more than 10 months sober, so well done on each 2 year stretch, that is really amazing and they are achievements you can draw on when you are finding it hard. I have only been through one alcohol inpatient medical/medicated detox, 13 days that I completed on the 21st August this year. Today I am sober from alcohol and heavy benzo dependence for 11 weeks and 2 days haha but I am super pleased and can’t want to celebrate 3 months in a few weeks!!

I also had my first (and I have now vowed only ever) DUI a couple of weeks before I went to the inpatient unit. It was late morning and I blew 2x the legal limit in Victoria, Australia. I had been drinking vodka until 2:30am that morning. I was used to drinking a full bottle of vodka a day too.

The charge and experience of being at a police station, losing my car and licence was a massive blow and I was already on the waitlist for the unit, I had quit my job 8 weeks earlier because I knew I needed time out of the workforce to work on and begin healing from substance abuse and the anxiety, depression and CPTSD that led me to self-medicate in the first place many years ago.

I was drawn to your post and I am so glad I could read it and connect with you… Divine intervention if you believe in that, I definitely do. I’d love to keep up with how you are going, so please check in when you can and have a good read around the forums, there are lots of posts that will be of benefit to you I am sure.

In the meantime, I want to encourage you to keep going, I know you can do it and when you are ready, with the right supports to suit you, I am positive you will be able to achieve sobriety again for the long-term. I can only speak from my 11 or so weeks experience, but it is truly amazing and such a positive change to my life in so many ways.

Sending you loads of encouragement, strength, hope, hugs and blessings from Australia xo
:heart: :sunny: :kangaroo: :two_hearts: :koala: :heart_eyes: :dromedary_camel:

1 Like

Hi Amanda! Welcome to the forum :sunflower:
We have to face the damage we cause in life. It’s horrible that you hurt a third person in the accident.
Are you sober now? What are you doing for your recovery?
There are lots of people on here who shared about DUI and hurting others. You can use the search bar to look up ke words. You will find out that you are not alone. Keep us posted.