Hi. My name is Kayla. I decided to join so that I could check my progress every day and see everybody elses thoughts on addiction. I have been drinking for a while but its been hard for me to admit that im an alcoholic. I guess ive come to terms with the fact that i am and i dont want this anymore. I started drinking more heavily a few years ago and since then i would drink once or twice per week and it didnt matter if it was a monday or a friday. It started with wanting to be social and then towards the end i was drinking mostly by myself. I hated my job and had a relationship that just wasnt working out. I drank to forget and cope. I just feel so horrible and now my boyfriend and i of five years have broken up and my world is flipped upside down, ive been drinking and texting him ridiculous things because in angry and hurt but it makes me look like an idiot. I just dont want to feel like this anymore.
Thank you dan, im happy to have this forum. Its full of people who understand and help eachother along the way. I feel motovated just to see the days go by. I probably havent gone more than 7 days without drinking in 6 years… and when i drink it ends up being the whole bottle. Only recently have i not remembered some of what i did the night before… i dont want that anymore.
Thank you @Oliverjava, i cant live with this guilty feeling anymore. It makes me feel ashamed and embarassed.
I will look at that thread @Oliverjava . Ive started writing letters to myself my ex and my loved ones… not really to send to them but just to get out what feel and want to say. Sometimes you dont realise how deep the feelings go until you start writing it down.