Okay, so I’m at Day 12 of my sobriety, yay!!! However, woke up this morning and realized I haven’t cleaned my house since deciding to live a sober life. The reason, I only clean while drinking. For me cleaning house is a painful process, growing up I was made to clean and re clean and re clean and re clean again areas of my home under my mothers insistence. Nothing was ever good enough, not ever. So today as an adult I probably clean better then most. Every room is detailed clean to the last dust partial before moving on to the next room. If I don’t clean that way my anxiety creeps and drives my brain crazy. So the way I have learned to deal with all the emotional trauma is to drink while cleaning, that way the obsessiveness becomes fun and manageable.
So how do I deal with my anxiety over house cleaning without getting drunk, not even a little bit?
Pump up the feel good music and tackle a room or two today. Don’t feel like you have to get it ALL done I would say reward yourself with a trip out to eat or a fancy pint of ice cream and a good movie afterwards. I was never under the influence when I was cleaning my house, but it’s always a good time to clean out your drawers and closet of junk, things that remind you of your former self, and triggers.
Oh man, I struggle with that, too. My family owned a cleaning service, so I learned from the best, but my mom would get obssessed and taught me to be the same. I have been working on this for a long time and tend to switch between two extremes: 1. Hyper-vigilence and 2. Not taking care of myself or my space.
My mantra when I feel myself becoming obsessive is “it doesn’t have to be perfect”. When I am not taking care of myself, I watch something uplifting that inspires self-care.
Thank you for this sound advice. I’ll start with one area of a room first and if it gets too much I’ll stop and take my puppy for walk. I’ll turn the feel good music on and up too.
Hey @Sawood, THIS topic definitely has come up before and I was fully in on it! Totally sympathize with you here. Here are my post comments on the subject…
best wishes!
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“Please I used to drink during every chore, and it kept being a trigger for a full year when things would come up. Pool maintenance, Shoveling snow, spring cleaning, decorating the tree - how was I going to do all that sober?! ..but I managed. Usually with a lot of black coffee or something at hand. Also helped to play my music in the background.”
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"one other method I use when clearing and cleaning is “go clockwise and top down”
No matter how bad or cluttered a room or space, my method is to pick a starting point of the room (say a doorway), and work clockwise and top-down. I literally say, ok what is the next object clockwise, and “process” it (keep, throw away, donate, etc). That way the job is far less overwhelming - even if it takes days. And if I have to move something from the “2 o’clock” area to the “7 o’clock” area, I don’t start cleaning that area, I Just wait until I get to it clockwise. After all is cleared, I use the same pattern with cleaning."
Im sure this is a common issue! I definitely struggle with it. I have 3 kids, and a demanding job, and it is sooo much work, emotionally and in other ways, to do all the gazillion chores and do them sober. I used to get through the weekend chores with wine. Now I do them at half speed, with a big cup of tea, and try to treat it as a meditative process, which I can do if I dont rush or worry about perfection. You can do it slowly, with music or a great podcast or tv, or a quiet mind, and if you dont finish, it’s ok: doing ANY chores while sober is a big accomplishment sometimes. Plus, i realized I saved several hundred dollars so far from not drinking; I’m hiring cleaners to come once a month. I hate scrubbing the bath, and this way I dont have the temptation to get through it by drinking. It reduces my stress and is a much better use of money than the big old wine boxes of the old days.
I would say reward yourself with a trip out to eat or a fancy pint of ice cream and a good movie afterwards. I was never under the influence when I was cleaning my house, but it’s always a good time to clean out your drawers and closet of junk, things that remind you of your former self, and triggers.