Ed frustrations and family *trigger warning

[ShesGotMoxie]

Yay!!! Now comes the part of getting your strength back.

[Its_me_Stella]

@Callie99

• The only way to make peace with food is to make peace with your body. Without it one will be in a restrict, binge cycle their entire life.
• I will focus what I can ADD to my diet to add more nutrients, not what needs to be taken away
• labeling foods as unhealthy just increases our obsession with them

All of this.

@Callie99

Please sweet baby j help my mom respect my boundaries

I have been in situations where unfortunately this wasn’t the case and I needed to start practicing “loving detachment”. What did help was creating a journal about situations where they were crossing my boundary so that I could look for holes in MY actions. Maybe i had not been clear, maybe I had over talked them so they were not listening properly, things like that. Once I was comfortable that I had been clear and I have given them ample opportunity to understand my boundary and they were clearly being disrespectful I felt ok detaching. We need to protect our recovery, and the beauty about boundaries is they can be flexible later… when we are feeling safer.

Edited: Loving detachment doesn’t need to be for extended periods of time.

[Callie99]

@Its_me_Stella

What did help was creating a journal about situations where they were crossing my boundary so that I could look for holes in MY actions. Maybe i had not been clear, maybe I had over talked them so they were not listening properly, things like that. Once I was comfortable that I had been clear and I have given them ample opportunity to understand my boundary and they were clearly being disrespectful I felt ok detaching.

This is a good method. I know that I get upset and I’m not able to explain myself as clearly to her- like I can with you all. If I put it on paper it looses some of its heaviness and I can take some of the emotional aspect out. Just focus on my boundaries. I’m not sure my mom would even let me lovingly detach from her though- even temporarily. I’m a pillar that emotionally holds her up sometimes. Most of the time. I can try to be more clear and practice some detachment when it comes to this. After I spoke to her I struggled to eat lunch. I honestly wouldn’t have unless I came and got everything out here.
Thank you @Its_me_Stella

[Its_me_Stella]

@Callie99

lovingly detach

This can look different i believe.

(I am thinking as a mother of a child who just recently set a boundary with me around talking to her about medication.)

Maybe a detachment might look like only having conversations about a triggering part of her life over text so that you have the choice to read it or not. You can detach from verbal conversations about it 100%. " Mom, I can see it’s hard for you to respect my boundary. I am going to have to step away from talking to you on the phone about this completely. If you feel the need to share with me on this or any topic around food please do it over text message."

[Callie99]

These boundaries are 100% doable with her. I’m going to send this to her if that’s okay with you.

@Its_me_Stella

" Mom, I can see it’s hard for you to respect my boundary. I am going to have to step away from talking to you on the phone about this completely. If you feel the need to share with me on this or any topic around food please do it over text message."

[Its_me_Stella]

of course

[Callie99]

thank you