I see a lot of posts lately by people that get over the initial struggle of not picking up a drink or a drug (however long that takes ya), but still feeling irritable, restless and discontent. People wondering “is this it?” or “now what?” or “I don’t feel like picking up a drink, but I feel like something is lacking in my life”.
Below is the Preface to an AA book - “Emotional Sobriety”, which is a collection of letters/stories from people in sobriety - at my Saturday morning meeting we read one of the letters and then have discussion. We’ve got a guy who didn’t pick up a drink for 25 years before he went to his first AA meeting and describes how working the steps has helped him find a contentment and peace in life that he never knew was even possible before.
I just want to throw out there that AA (and any 12 step program) is about so much more than supporting people not picking up a drink (any DOC) in the immediate moment. That is really only the beginning. I learn so much more about learning to live life on life’s terms, acceptance, appreciating the moment, connecting with others, and connecting with my intuition.
I share this because I didn’t know this when I started and there are often a lot of misconceptions about AA by people that have never experienced it or who have been to 1 or 2 meetings. I went to my first AA meeting because I was crushed - I couldn’t drink but I didn’t know how to not drink. Now I go because I learn so much about how to live my life and because serenity, emotional balance and an increased joy in living are things that I want.
If there is one thing I embrace lately, it is that nothing is what I thought it would be. AA and other 12 step programs aren’t what I thought they would be, but they help me to become a better person, little by little, if I am prepared to put in the work.
This is perfect! Thank you for bringing this to light.
I was one of those closed-minded people who knew everything about everything. When I started going to my 12 step group and seeing happy people and hearing how they live their lives, I understood that this is not just about setting down my DOC and never touching it again. It’s about healing the root of the problem: my emotional pain I had been carrying around my whole life.
@Mno - your check-in made me think of this. Keep doing what you are doing, you are right where you are supposed to be. Change takes time and comes slooooooowly, but it is so so good when we start to find serenity and peace of mind.
Yeah, it’s not a linear journey. Regression or addiction-swapping is, unfortunately, a part of a lot of stories. You’re making awesome progress, and you’re doing it imperfectly…but you’re doing it! I’m working on my fearless moral inventory right now. It’s not comfortable territory but considering where I was three weeks ago, I’d rather be here.
I know what you mean. We were so blissfully unaware of how good we had it mental health wise in Vermont. Actually we weren’t unaware, but I think we took it for granted. Here in Florida there are therpists, but the caliber of the ones I have engaged with is lacking compared to what I am used to. There are more stringent guidelines in VT regarding mental health practitioners. So…we are considering a move…obviously not just because of that…but it does tip the scales more.
Anyway…I feel you on being …idk…out of sorts I guess.
I’m in a very rural area too. It’s hard finding fellowship, especially with the nature of my addiction and the judgments of the average midwesterner. I hope you find some way to bolster that support network!
