So i am struggling hard with all the change im going through right now mainly I’m feeling like a disappointment and a burden on the people around me because im not working and helping with money and things but i know I’m doing what i need to for myself it’s just hard… i find myself just missing the thrill of the old lifestyle and i know if i go back to the same type of work i was doing I’ll be setting myself up for failure… and my dreans have been so vivid lately but im getting used to those this aint my first rodeo…
5 Likes
Im sorry you are struggling. Im glad you came here to vent instead of picking up. Have you discussed your fears about not contributing with the people in your life? How long have you been outta work? Can you find a pt job as you work on early recovery?
3 Likes
Yeah i have discussed it with her but the man part of me my pride getsbin the way and although i know I’ve been doing a lot for my sobriety right now i go to php program Monday-fri 8:30 a.m.- 3 p.m. then I’m going to meetings on top of that and the last two sundays I’ve made a change and started going to the kingdom hall… and I’m not going back to the line of qork that i was in because i feel like thats just setting myself up… but idk what else i want to do or even I’d be good at im just struggling with the change but i appreciate your advice i just am learning to deal with things as i go… one day at a time
2 Likes
Good for you for putting your sobriety at the forefront! Dont let your pride get in the way. Consider this an investment in your future success!
1 Like
Money and work will come when the time is right. If we dont have recovery 1st and foremost, we have absolutely nothing 
drugs take that all away ( and eventually it takes our life in one way or another). I understand the urgency to want to start contributing to those around u. For myself i felt like i had to pull my weight and make up for lost time, make money fast, get the things in my life that i “should” have at my age. But honestly… recovery is a full time job! Especially in the beginning. U are doing alot of work. Keep ur eye on the prize of recovery! Absolutely everything does fall into place at the right time and sooo many doors do open up for opportunites 
6 Likes
What @Butterflymoonwoman said. I promise you that if you stay sober and continue to be present and committed to your recovery, the job/money will present itself at the right time. Enjoy your day being sober. One day at a time.
3 Likes
I was going along, working the program and developing community. And then today. Pissy attitude. Didn’t call my sponsor and didn’t go to my favorite meeting. I have to leave tomorrow from Scottsdale to LA. I’m sad. I don’t want to leave my AA family. For the first time in a long time I want to drink. In a flash, the obsession is back. Lingering in the back of my mind. Waiting to take a hold of me. I didn’t drink, but feel weak. And in my weakest moment, I don’t want to pray. God please relieve me of the bondage of self. I can’t take it anymore.
Thank you for the encouraging uplifting word sometimes its hard to notice the progress without reward… being money and material things… and i think thats just how most men feel but i know im doing the best thing i can… learning myself again 
1 Like
I do understand in a sense. I dont want to generalize but I do think its natural for men to want to provide and bring in the money etc etc. My husband is very much like that and takes alot on his shoulders thinking he needs to do all the work and provide everything for our family. But there definitly ia more to life than money and material things staying clean and sober brings SOOO much more to life, and alot of times its stuff that is priceless. Ur doing amazing! Keep at this thing ODAAT
2 Likes
That’s cause I gotta work steps to heal u gotta lot hurt from life n you don’t forgive yourself it takes time it a process of healing throw step work praying finding your higher power going to meetings n big book study ect I’ll be praying for u keep your head up it gets better
1 Like
Why is it getting harder? I thought the more time I was sober the easier it would be? Now I know why it’s one day at a time. Sobriety is never guaranteed. It’s hard work everyday. I’m exhausted. At least that is my experience for days 82 and 83.
1 Like