So I just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship and I’m trying to remind myself that I deserve real love but that’s really hard to do when my mom emotionally abused me too. I’m only 15 so its not like I can move out any time soon. My friends dont know they think she is perfect in every way shape and form. But she took it really far two nights ago and I feel like shit. She tokd me the only reason she was drunk was because of me and that I cause too much trouble. I understand she was drunk and didnt know what she was saying but it hurt like hell. I don’t want to run away because when my mom isnt yelling at me she is really nice but I always have to be careful what I say around her because me breathing the wrong way can make her go screaming rampage. I’m at the point where I feel scared of saying no to her. So I don’t want to run away but I feel like thats my only way to get to freedom. I have a plan of where I would go theres a homeless shekter a couple streets away from me that I would see if I could stay at but I really don’t know what to do. My dad truly loves me but he refuses to accept that I’m not a girl I’m a boy. My sister hits me sometimes so I dkubt she would be worried if I ran away. But my parents put a tracker on my phone. So its not like running away is even possible. I really need advice
This is difficult to give advice but you definitely need to remove yourself from that environment even if only a few hours a day. Don’t run away it just involves the police and a load of arguments when you go home. when I was your age I had to run away 11 times before anyone even asked ME what the problem was, even then I lied because of shame or embarrassed about what I had been through, either way I ended up in care. Grab your phone go walk or find a quiet place at a park, put some music on, lay down and relax. just breath gently, listen to the sounds around you, and just try and regain some energy and focus. When you go home after that trust me it’s gonna be a lot less emotional than turning up on the doorstep in 3 days. Be strong, you’ll be an adult sooner than you think and not treat people the way you are being.
Hey Daniel… It’s confusing and hurtful when the people that should love and care for us most treat us like crap.
My mom was emotionally and physically abusive at times. I moved across the country at the first opportunity. I forgave her in my head and tried to move on, but she never changed (she didn’t even have drugs or alcohol to blame it on). I hadn’t seen her in 10 years, or spoken to her in 2 or 3 (she doesn’t answer her phone) and still when she did call, the very first thing out of her mouth was a deeply hurtful insult.
So advice? I like Paul’s @Dolse71 idea of getting some quiet time and space outside home. I used to love hanging out in the city library when the weather wasn’t great for being outside.
Try to always rememeber, her words and actions are zero reflection on you. Zero. That is all on her.
Is there any type of counseling available at the shelter you mentioned, or other resources?
Stay strong. We are here.
Hi, I totally understand what you are going through, I had a similar situation. But running away won’t solve your problems. You have to face the situation. I advise you to take counseling from a professional at school because an outside perspective is always better when you dealing with complicated emotional problem. Even consulting a trusted family member would be a great start. You have to be the hero of your own story and communicate what you want, clearly to your family members. Please don’t runaway from home, this will only increase your problems as shelters are not the safest place. I can understand your need to want some time away from your family, and you should do that, you have to give yourself some time off. Go for walk. indulge yourself in some hobbies or interests to relax yourself from this stress.
Stay strong kid. You are loved. Keep fighting 
Things will get better I promise you. You have to first realize your mothers drinking isnt your issue. Anything you do or say will not change this unless she wants help for herself. Second you have ptsd. Walking on eggshells if she breaths the wrong way. Your scared of being yelled at or hit. You dont want to do anything to upset your mom. I am 37 years old I have been where you are. It’s scary. Are you trans? Is this what father is having issues with? Someone started teaching me to set clear boundaries. You need to tell your mother what’s acceptable and what’s not. I am sure she loves you and I am sure her parents treated her the same way. It’s now your time to change the cycle. I am a parent of a 15 year old and I refuse to emotionally and physically abuse him. Therefore I have read up on parenting . I also promised myself when I was your age I would remember how it felt and never subject anyone to that.