Empty feeling

First week… after 2 decades of drinking 1-2 bottles of wine a day and not really wanting to stop completely. This time descided to stop completely. Withdrawel was ok I guess, only some muscle spasms.

First 6 days I felt very proud of myself, esspecially when my spouse put 3 bottles in the fridge (I did not tell hij I’d quit.) Every night I went to sleep with this overwhelming happy feeling that I made an another day…

Today, my milestone, first week… and I feel empty… not really depressed but maybe disapointed? That I am not feeling that proud feeling of my accomplishement.

Anyway… I will take this journey 1 day at a time and hope this “empty” feeling will fade away allong with the day…

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How about trying to replace drinking with something else you like to do? You might not have to do it forever but to fill gap and spark some joy again?

I’m no expert and kinda new to sobriety as well so it was just a thought.

You should definitely be proud of yourself for trying to change your life, but no matter what we do or how we are we ain’t going to be over the top happy every day. That’s not how life works,it would have been nice if it was.

It can be a good idea to talk to your spouse too, so you can avoid unnecessary temptation and a feeling of missing out when you’re in early sobriety.

Also feel free to write here when you feel down or just need some extra support. There’s always someone here that can help.

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First off congratulations a week is very exciting. It might be helpful to read up on the pink cloud it’s very normal in early recovery. Stay strong you got this!

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Thanks. He has his own problems with alcohol… the point is we are both functioning alcoholics, busy jobs, lot’s of responsibilities… 2 kids, and in daily life we functioneren both very well… He is not ready doe this step, this is a journey I will take alone. Hoeveel will take the bottles out of the fridge though…

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Thank you for the tip! I will do so, this might get me on the right track!

you made me cry… I honestly don’t know… I don’t want to drink, that’s for sure.I am having trouble to look ahead, as I am focusing 1 day at a time. Today I was planning to work out for some positive energy, but it’s too hot… I will take a shower in stead and let these feelings just past me by…

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Hey Zee, the first week is the hardest, so I’m proud of you that you did it.

I recommend using the thread called “checking in daily to maintain focus” for exactly that reason. Maintaining focus is one of the most important parts of sobriety since addiction will always try to sneak up on you.

The suggestion @MrsOdh made about finding an activity to replace drinking is really good. Not only does it keep you distracted from the drinking habit, a lot of activities are good for physical and mental health also.
For example running, cycling, dancing, working out and swimming are great for your physical health.
Drawing, cooking, crafts, writing and mindfulness are great examples of activities that are good for mental health since they all in a way are a form of meditation, because you focus on one thing.
But there’s also lots of activities that don’t necessarily improve health, but are fun to do none the less.

And like @MrsOdh said, informing your spouse about this can be very useful. I don’t say you have to do so immediately, but when you are ready for it.

Mindfulness is great for getting rid of shame and guilt. Those feelings are natural, but you shouldn’t have them for the rest of your life. With mindfulness you learn to let thoughts pass without paying much attention to them. From your auto-correct I assume you’re a fellow Dutchy, so I can recommend the VGZ mindfulness app.

This mind sound strange, but I recommend giving your addiction a name, I named mine Brutus. That way I know who I’m fighting and it makes me just a bit more aware of my addiction.

Reading on this forum a lot is also useful, because then you can read about similar experiences and discover for yourself that you are not alone in this fight. And if you have questions, feel free to ask. We always try to be supportive when it comes to feedback.

Try to avoid thinking about not drinking for the rest of your life. That makes recovery a lot harder. When I first stopped gaming and I thought about not gaming for the rest of my life I had small panic attacks and that thought still scares me, but when I think, I won’t game for today, I’m fine with that.

Don’t listen to your head. Your head has become a dick. Over time your mind will become a dick less and less, but it will always be a dick.

Don’t ever think that you can drink just one glass of wine, because honestly, that’s bullshit, you can’t. Not a single addict can and those who do drink moderately are lying to themselves.

If you ever get a lot of cravings play the tape. By that I mean thinking what if I drink again and predict the future. Will you be happy with yourself or will you hate yourself and feel shame, guilt and disgust?

I also recommend following the steps, for me they got rid of a big part of my guilt and shame.

I hope this helps out and keep up the good work :smiley: :+1:

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I was probably similar to you. Over time mine escalated as tolerance increased. Switched to bourbon. Mostly drank to take edge off, escape, rationalized reward for busy day, not stress or worry, whatever. After I stopped that, all the crap I was avoiding was still there. I was in the dumps and quite subdued off and on for quite some time working through that as best I could. I can say it really sucked, but it was worth it, eventually. Very much worth it. Good luck to you. There’s lots of good advice and kind folks here.

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Thanks, yes Im also Dutch! I did a guided meditation session, slept for an hour, now feel tired but relaxed. I think I had the expectation that my addiction would magically disappear after 7 days :joy: “incasseren en doorgaan” It’s just another day, stay sober today

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I had that expectation once too. So I decided to lock myself in my room and not game for 7 days. Caved after 20 hours. Couldn’t have done this without rehab

And also, recovery isn’t a destination but a journey

I guess you’re right… I am a little afraid of what shit is waiting for me that I systematically avoided but I am more afraid of what’s going to happen when I keep on drinking. I don’t like the person I have become, but I will take care of the person that I have been hiding inside. Not sure if any of this makes sense. It does in my head.

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how you doing @Zee

Hi, I haven’t been online much, but I m doing great actually.
Still sober, 15 days and counting!
I even went to 2 birthday parties yesterday where everyone was drinking, the 2nd one with 2 of my best friends with whom I would normally party. And I only had water and coke zero. :grinning: No one even noticed I was not drinking, I had the best time dancing, and laughing and wasn’t even tempted to have even 1 drink! I can do this

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great to hear that. I’m happy for you and you can do this

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That’s wonderful!! Great job!!

I personally find,that we put expectations on how were Gona feel and when we’re going to feel it,from experience I try not to do this as I ends in disappointment of I’m not actually feeling the way I feel I should be feeling,try to go more with how your feeling day to day instead of your clean time,I find by doing this is takes alot of pressure off my shoulders.congratulatiobs on one week here’s to many many more working at it aday at a time :purple_heart::dove:

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