So today I am 965 days. I just want to give a little encouragement to those who feel like they can’t do this without their drug of choice.
I am a alcoholic who also struggled with drug and sex/love addiction.
When I started this journey to sobriety I had just had my first daughter that was 12 years ago. Between then and May 2017 I have many day ones, and when I say many I mean for the first year after she was born I eased back into the drinking and did no drugs. Then I went off the rails. I started doing coke big time and my drinking was out of control.
After a year I realized I needed to quit again because I was missing out on the good times with my baby girl. So I completely detoxed the coke. It sucked so bad but I did it. I still drank because hell alcohol was legal so it wasn’t bad for me right? That was around the time that the mommy needs alcohol to relax was getting big. So I thought it was ok.
Then I realized that my drinking was just as out of control as my coke problem was so I was determined to quit before someone realized I had a problem. So I set out to quit. Every night I would drink and by morning I would swear I was never drinking again.
I did that for 10 LONG ass years I would make it a few days a week at most then start drinking again.
In May of 2017 something in me changed I quit drinking. My detox and withdrawals were horrible and long but I did it. I got sober and since then life has had its ups and downs but I’ve been sober since.
I’ve thought about drinking but never once have I acted on it because I know it wouldn’t be good for me when I play the tape all the way through.
So I recently moved in with my boyfriend who doesn’t have a drinking problem nor does he drink often. In the years we were friends before we started dating he only drank twice. So while in the kitchen yesterday I was just kind of moving stuff around to make room for my stuff that will be here Wednesday and opened the cabinets above the fridge. In there was nothing but liquor and mixers all different kinds. You could tell they hadn’t been touched in forever because the layer of dust was amazing and hilarious. I’m talking enough to get a house party drunk.
So the whole point of this post is when I found the alcohol I simply moved it all to one side of the cabinet so I could put what I wanted to up there after laughing at the layer of dust and moved on.
Had someone told me 965 days ago that this is how I could respond to a shit load of alcohol I would have honestly laughed in their face and told them they were crazy. Shit I probably would have laughed if you told me that on my one year soberversary I would have laughed but here I am not even bothered by it.
Last night I was talking to Ben about it and he said he forgot it was up there because it was from his birthday in 2018 
he didn’t want me to ever feel uncomfortable about it so he took it all out and took it to work with him today for all the young guys he has hired to take home with them.
So just some encouragement for those in new sobriety because it won’t always be so hard. 
And as always you can always message your friendly neighborhood Sober Happy Llama 
former unicorn 
