Hi everyone, I am new to the group here. Sorry for the lengthy post, I thought I’d get my story out early.
Today I am 90 days sober from alcohol. I’ve had a problem with binge drinking since my teenage years. My father was an alcoholic, and addiction tends to run in my family. I tried to escape my dysfunctional background through education and travel. I became quite successful, but for some reason I ended up in toxic relationships.
Right now I am planning my way out of a domestic violence situation. I have been married for 22 years to a closet drunk who I was fully committed to but completely afraid of. We share two precious girls, 13 and 17years, who mean everything to me. He squandered my life savings (over quarter million), sold my house, bullies the children, affected my university studies and business.
As a result I suffered depression but couldn’t find help anywhere, my drinking worsened in the last year. I blacked out a couple times which really scared me. I could only think about my kids, their safety and what sort of message I was sending to them. I knew then the cycle had to stop!
My last drink was on 29 August 2017. I won’t forget my husband’s jeering and cajoling to get me to drink again. I admit the cravings were intense and I was tempted many times. But I felt determined to break free from this hole I ended up in with my girls. I decided to fight back, stop hiding behind alcohol and start living my life, give my kids the life they deserve away from these monsters…alcohol and ex.
The AA and other self help literature have been my lifeline the last 90 days. I know this is a life long journey, that every day of sobriety is a mega achievement in the eyes of an alcoholic, which I fully admit to being.
In terms of health, I substituted food for alcohol the last 90 days which wasn’t good as I put on 14lbs! I feel this is the right time to address my eating issue. I am doing a juice only detox and have done prepping my cupboards and fridge, all ready to go. I’ve enrolled back to Law school, aiming to complete in two years time. Registering my business for another year and focusing on ways to rebuild my earnings and financial independence.
Next year I am taking my husband to Court, he refuses to mediate a settlement. I cannot believe I used to believe him when he said I brought nothing to our relationship and would get nothing if we ever divorced. A complete fallacy, but the sort of tactic these weaklings try.
Once I am qualified I want to help people (pro bono) who find themselves in domestic violence relationships. This has got to end! It begins with not abusing ourselves, and first getting rid of our addictions.
Best of luck to us all x
