Ever feel guilty for missing a party? I had the opportunity last night to go see some friends from college. When I say there will be some drinking going on there it’s a gross understatement. By far the biggest party friends I have are my friends from college but they are all great people and I am sober now and I wanted to go. At the last second I figured I would just stay home and avoid the situation now I’m over it come with a guilt trip. On the one hand I avoided a risky situation but on the other hand I really miss my friends…anyone go through something similar?
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Hey.
For sure. When I first got sober I chose to skip an annual party that I have attended every year for almost 20 years. I had to do it though. My people understood and supported me which helped how I felt about missing.
Now if my head isn’t right I don’t even consider going out and don’t have any guilty feelings because I made the right decision for the right reasons for the right person.
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In the moment, yes. Hindsight, absolutely not.
I missed so many things in the beginning…and now, I couldnt even tell you what those things were.
In the moment it seems important, down the road…we find out that they had not real importance.
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Nope! I never felt guilty about doing what’s best to protect my sobriety. I got sober in Sept 2019 and missed all the holiday events that first year with family and friends. I went the next year and no one even mentioned me not being there the prior year.
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Thank you both so much. Last night I was ready to go and then just said I better play it safe. I will reach out to each person individually and kind of explain… It’s just I woke up to Texts of them making funny faces and asking where I was. I just woke up feeling like I missed out on an annual event. But the good news I guess is that I’m sober and ready to take on the day. Thank you again so much
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Thank you. It makes me feel better that I’m not alone
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Do they know you are sober? If they are good friends, they would be willing to find other activities todo with you that doesn’t involve alcohol. You’d be surprised and the responses you may get if you told them. You might even inspire some of them to look at their own relationship with alcohol. Good call on protecting your sobriety.
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We’re moving into holiday party season. Here’s a great discussion on this topic and dealing with the false guilt of not attending.
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Yes, yep & uh huh. I facetime them from afar when they’re ripped up. Catch up with friends and laugh about past stuff and most importantly, I can leave whenever I want and not be there at the same time.
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It was actually a mass invitation and I did confide in a couple of them. I did plan on popping in and popping out but I’m just glad I’m sober
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