This isn’t easy, I’m trying not to drink and it’s so hard because it numbs the pain but I know I just become ill after will I ever beat this?
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@Alexscott79…welcome!! And let me the first to say that you made a wise choice to get your life back. We are all on this journey to stay clean and sober,we all fall down on this journey but the most important part is to pick yourself back up and continue. This forum is the best place to start…stay strong, stay positive and keep the faith!
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Welcome here Alexander @Alexscott79 . Happy to have you aboard. Being here can be a big help in beating alcohol. Hope you’ll get involved in this forum, writing, reading, supporting, being supported. Gaining knowledge about addiction and how to beat it. There’s lots of help here and elsewhere. make sure to utilize that help because alone to mee it seems impossible to do. together we can do this. one day at a time. Welcome again and all success friend.
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Hi Alexander and a warm welcome to you 🙋
This app had helped me tremendously to become and stay sober. Put in the hard work and it pays out.
What did I do?
I stripped my house from all the alcohol and empty bottles.
Filled my fridge with healthy foods and alc. free drinks.
Bought chocolat and other sweets to treat myself.
Avoided every alc. related event (ore friends) the first 3 months of my recovery.
I was here every day to check in sober. I read a lot here on TS to learn how to beat my addiction.
No it isn’t. But it’s doable! 
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I felt the same way, heavy drinker most of my life, thought I was just gonna die this way and just said the heck with trying anymore, three rehabs in the last year and it didn’t stick longer than a few days, well I’m on day 12 today, I admit it’s not very long, but I’m feeling better, my suggestion would be listen to your body, need a nap, take one, need sweets, eat them, ect…
Never thought I would have seen double digits but I’m still here trying!
You can do this because we are not alone!
Fight fight fight for it!
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You can do this, especially with a good support system and the right tools at your disposal. A lot of people find meetings to be helpful. Alcohol withdrawals can also get kind of dangerous if you get dehydrated, so drink water or head to a detox center.
You are going to have to face that pain, hun, instead of numbing it away. I know it can be frightening, to face it. But is that how you want go throughout your whole life? Numb? Not able to feel sorrow OR joy? You cant have one without the other.
I know it hurts, and i am sorry for your pain. Please let me know if there is anything i can do to help you.