Hello, I’m new into this community and I learned about this app by an accident listening to a podcast of a guy who decided to go sober. I’m alcoholic since my 26 I guess, now I’m 43. Never did drinking during a day, always started in evenings and finishing late nights. During that time I even structured my drinking into a ‘method’ 50ml (large drink) every 30mins, in worst case ending with 4.5dcl of 40% alcohol but on average 3.5dcl. I think I have a gene in DNA that supports addiction as also my parents were alcoholics, and my uncle too. My parents are sober for quite number of years,succesfully, they have a strong mindset and will,but got help externally as well. Besides being addicted my problem is I’m a runner, in good physical shape and even taking a good care of myself which sounds funny, but throughout a day I take essential vitamins (also those supporting good health of a liver), and eat well. These two factors however made my drinking kind of ‘special’ as my tolerance developed quite high which means I would have to drink at least 4dcl of 40perc alcohol to start (!) feeling like I’m totally loosing control. Which scares me. I was able to get sober for few weeks but then I told myself life is boring and why not to drink I can handle it just for once. And you know the story afterwards right… So… I’m getting sober again and believe it’s for the last time without any first drink ever. What helped you please? I don’t have a girlfriend yet, but I do have some friends. I don’t want to use services of a therapist or face to face community, still trust myself I can do it by myself.Thank you for your advices. I’m attaching two texts I got from social app, from respected people and find it very truthful. Wish everyone a sober day every day! Love
3 Lies We Tell Ourselves About Motivation
- We believe that we need to feel passionate about something in order to be motivated.
- We think that motivation is something that comes from within us, that it is a natural part of our
personality or character
- We believe that motivation is a feeling, and that it is something we can control.
These are all excuses we use to avoid taking action. The truth is, we don’t need to feel passionate about
something in order to be motivated. We don’t need to have a natural talent or gift in order to be
motivated. We don’t need to be in the perfect situation or environment in order to be motivated.
Motivation is not just a feeling. It is a habit, a practice that we need to cultivate in our daily lives. It is not
just something that we have or we don’t have, it is something that we create for ourselves
It takes time to be good at something, even more to be great at it.
Pushing too hard and linking your self worth to a goal you’ve set
yourself isn’t the wisest idea as it’ll trigger the self doubt contained
If you don’t meet that target or goal then you’ll more than likely feel
bad about yourself.
Goals are arbitrary things we set ourselves, they are external to who
we actually are, more like they are connected to what we want to
What you want to achieve is an reflection of your mindset and
motivation, it is not an indication of your self worth.
Now read that again
By the way, the goal, it’s not about achieving it, nor the “journey”
along the way, it’s about being in the moment of each part of the
journey - focusing on each moment will bring you much more
positive results in terms of your self worth.
Give yourself time, everyones growth looks and feels different to
Welcome to TS that’s a great first step.
My advice would be to really question this. Trying to do it alone didn’t help me.
Also what you write about sports and living healthy most of the day, guess there are many of us who did this. I did it. During my active addiction, man, I did a lot of sports, I was fit. I was dying inside. I had to learn how to deal with my feelings, how to overcome my impulsivity, how to sit with my feelings and talk about them with people who understand where I was coming from. I went to therapy, meetings, I found TS.
Lots of quotes there hopefully you can keep us posted on your journey wish you well
Why do it by yourself when there’s so much help available these days? I tried that route and was able to maintain sobriety for months, sometimes up to a year on my own. Now that I have this community and AA, it’s a constant reminder where drinking will lead, if I go back out. Both of these support systems have brought me a life beyond my wildest dreams. Putting down the drink was the easy part, staying sober is where all the hard work comes in. I came for my drinking and stay for my thinking.
Wishing you the best on your journey!
There’s nothing wrong with taking help from other sources. You have a much better and stronger chance of getting sober using all the assistance you can get.
From my experience, I did 19 months without any support and and after a 2 year relapse am back to 9 days. During that two year relapse, I got into debt, made enemies, lost relationships, got injured, humiliated myself and others, lost jobs, suicide attempts and ended up hospitalised.
There’s a rare few that can do it by themselves and if you’re one of them, more power to you! Wish I was!
Welcome aboard, and you aren’t gonna do this alone, cuz we are here. Use this support system and see where it leads. Over time, you will see for yourself what tools you will need to stay free. Wish you all the best!
I used to think if i did difficult things alone without help it would make me a stronger and a better person until i became a too proud single parent to my baby girl and wanted to do everything myself…if i couldnt then according to me i was a failure as a mother…i struggled for years doing it all alone…i ended up an addict because of that thinking. There is nothing wrong in getting help from others infact in addiction especially it is absolutely vital, we are innately social creatures that need support and knowledge from others cos guess what …we dont know it all! Ive learned so much from others on here i could have never got sober on my own, drop the pride and listen to those who can help you that have done it.
What help me not to pick up us knowing I’m going to die. All it takes is one more.
Hello, @Bunto , just wondering how you are lately.
Thank you Pattycake - Patricia, very nice of You. Doing quite well, though I’m kind of not feeling very happy as I miss a relationship with partner, so currently my mood is strange. And you how are you?
Glad you are doing well. As for missing a relationship, hang in there. One thing we can always rely on is that things change.this too shall pass. I’m doing well, thank you. I have read those texts you shared about motivation and goals, a few times. Both are good food for thought. Thanks for posting them. Be well!
Atomic habits by James Clear.
it’s not about motivation (like you said). It’s not about goals.
It’s about systems.
Want to build muscle and lose 30 lbs.
Those are big goals.
Start with becoming a gym rat.
Start with putting your clothes in the car the night before (intention/make it easy)
Start by tracking everything you put in your body.
Set a specific time for what your doing.
Your right, it’s not motivation, it’s systems/habits stacked on top of each other day after day.