I’ve seen this before and think it’s brilliant! 
Love this! So relatable…
So why are so many family people addicts? Who have supportive spouses, children? Everyone has their limits and we cant keep on loving someone forever who doesn’t want to help themselves. I am sure a lot of spouses of addicts have sticker by them for many years . so why are they still addicts?
What do you mean by enabling? Because telling no and not accepting the drinking is considered as nagging and some people claim it makes things worse.
But they can feel it though? And then they accuse you of treating them like shit. Im sorry… Is my personal story coming through… Sigh. I just think detaching gives them another reason to drink because apparently their spouses are cold hearted b*tches.
Well my husband claims i make him feel guilty for drinking… So I cant really show it to him that his drinking is unacceptable to me because to him, what his doing (drinking at home), is totally OK, so his brain doesn’t compute me being upset.
I will check these books out, thank you!
I can’t speak to the personal dynamics in your relationship with your husband, or his relationships with your/his other relatives.
Majority of the time there is a root cause that needs to be addressed. The root cause may have happened before you.
The issue with people that drink they really are completely under the vice of alcohol until 3-5 days after the last drink. The amount and how long, play a role in there. They will never accept their drinking is out of control until they are sober.
Part of the conversation would be to convince him not to drink for 5 days, just because…
Then say your drinking is not normal. It’s ok to get shit-faced everyonce, in a while, but your doing it everyday. You need to take a step back and look for yourself. This isn’t about guilt this is about your health this is about our relationship. If there is a specific event or events.
Quite the conundrum. Perhaps, a friendly wager/bet who can go longer without drinking. I’m not sure what the reward would be in your situation.
My dynamics are much different with my drinking.