Hey everyone. Been awhile since I’ve posted but things have been going good. Been learning a lot about myself and I am really feeling at an all time high. I’ve learned to love myself again, i mean I still have times where I am down on myself but I am working through those. This is the best I have felt in probably the last 5 years for myself.
Problem is tonight I had an old ex contact me and now I am getting these bad cravings. As I look back I know that she was one of my triggers and I am feeling it right now. Just wanted to come on here and vent a little and get this out there to you all as a step to avoid drinking tonight. Need the community to help keep me honest and to help be supportive tonight. Thanks all!
Anecdotally, I had an old ex reach out a couple years ago. Led to my last relapse and I now never speak with her. I’ve been sober ever since. So I understand that feeling. Learn from another person’s mistake and don’t be me. That feeling is terrible and it’s very very real, you’re aware of it and that’s a huge accomplishment. Personally, I would avoid that situation, but also I don’t know anything about your relationship. All I know as a stranger is how you said it makes you feel.
Onward and upward, this moment will pass. Distract yourself with something, anything, until the feeling passes. Moments like that are what we continue to build on. Moments. Decisions like these lead to sobriety and strength
Another thing I just wanted to say…this person is your ex for a reason. If they weren’t worth staying with, they’re definitely not worth drinking over.
Last November I got a random text message from a number I didn’t have saved. Had a harmless conversation with the person. You know, the ones that are made with strangers at a movie or something, nothing personal. Only lasted the night, so thought nothing of it.
New Years day, same number text me happy new year. Not knowing who the person was still, just said “thanks. you too.”
Fast forward to this past weekend, I was clearing out text messages and decided to ask who the person was… it was a woman I had dated almost two years ago! So I decided I wanted to see how she was and asked if she wanted to get coffee but not as a “date”. When I explained that I wasn’t interested in an emotional relationship right now, she flipped a switch and started speaking as if I was just another POS and got mad that I didn’t ask her about her drinking (which ended our dating because she would get drunk and tell me to drive over an hour to pick her, and threw in crying to make me feel bad) and how she’s been sober almost a year. She told me go call my sponsor cuz I have issues that need to be worked out. I was speechless.
My point is this, I broke it off for a reason. People won’t know my triggers unless they sit down and listen to why it’s a trigger. Many don’t want to hear it if it doesn’t fit into there plan and will take offense to it. That’s on them. You’re sobriety is priority one! @SoberGuyUSA hit the response on the head!
Yes. Those who enter our lives only with a vibe to cause a relapse should share the same fate as alcohol itself. A one finger salute out of our lives. We do not owe a measure of kindess back to those who only measured us pain…They will in time face the personal consequences of their enabling actions on their own account…
People places and things are triggers for us so training your mind not to react is possible with a program in place to combat this , worked for me . wish you well
I get what you were sitting down. I see my ex from time to time and Have so many emotions that run through me. Good job jumping on here to vent. It’s nice to have someone to talk to about it aswell. My cravings for alcohol have come few and far between now but they usually come after running into my Ex. Once I started taking a daily inventory it helped me narrow down my triggers. Then after that I was able to realize that those triggers were manageable. I started realizing those emotions were there and they would pass and it gets easier with time. Keep up the good work and thank you for sharing your honesty.
Hey everyone. Thanks for the kinds words. I managed to get my head on straight and did a few things I have learned on this journey and I was able to make it through the night and all of this next day without that drink. It wasn’t easy, but I was able to do it. The more I learn and watch myself, the better I am getting at this. This community is always helpful with kind words. To another day sober!
, this is spot on.