@Blanka thanks so much for the lovely welcome and for asking how I am. Doing really well and feeling at peach with my sobriety at the moment. What I am particulary loving, is that even though I am only 15 days sober, every day seems so much longer! I can pack so much living into every hour, even when I take time out to just read or watch a movie, there is still plenty of time to get on with life!
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@Jamesb85 Me too James. I am now reading it for the 3rd time!
33 days! That is phenomenal!! Great to connect with you and hear how your journey is going.
Aw Brandon, what a lovely reply, thank you! Doing a yearās rehab is such a great commitment, and I take my hat of to you. I did a monthās rehab, and I know how much it did help, but is also one of the hardes things I have ever had to do, so you are amazing at sticking in there. I do think learning more about addiction, and especially how my brain works has helped this time around. Here is a little analogy that I visualise that has really helped me think differently about my addictive thoughts. My brain has lots of villages and roads connected to each other. Over the years and traumas experienced, every time I drank to ease any sort of discomfort or anxiety, the booze highway to relief became longer, verges were green, and it was lit with lots of streetlights. The more I drank the wider and brighter this road became, needing a broader and longer traffic line of alcohol to fill it. Meanwhile, the normal paths to happiness and comfort became derelict and overgrown. They need to be tended to and reused so they can slowly start to grow and be lit, and provide natural avenues to lessen anxiety, fear and pain. The catch however is, that the booze highway will gradually start to narrow and the street lights will go off one by one, but the minute it realises that there are thoughts of drinking or the second alcohol gets in the system, it immediately transforms back to an brightly lit, faster moving highway, and takes over from any of the normal roads that had started to flourish. I find it comforting that my little brain is working hard to evolve and adapt, so that over time, it builds better and stronger roads away from addiction. Itās not for everyone, but it certainly helps me. Looking forward to connecting more with you Brandon and take care for now
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SAMCHAW, that is really good. Iāve done some reading on neuroscience and the pathways our brain creates but I have never heard it put like that. Why do you suppose that it takes so much tending to fix the normal paths but very little drink or drug to light up the old paths? Is there anything thing we can do to while weāre sober to light up the new paths with something little? Love or certain activities? The reason I ask is because this than Iām at is A religious one and in the past that has not worked for me. I do believe in God but prayer and Bible reading is not enough. I can see that you really want to do better and are striving for that, Iām so proud of you!! Most people donāt understand us but I see you and see what your doing and I think itās amazing!!!
@Brandon3 For me, because I have used alcohol for over 3 decades on and off, I think my brain has accepted that any type of relief I need has always come from drinking, so has done itās job in making sure that whenever I used, thatās what worked for me. But it has become desensitized to it to the point that it just keeps saying drink more, drink more, to try and reach the point at which anxiety was gone, which inevetiably leads to drinking from the morning onwards, and creates a loop of continous anxiety and withdrawal. It will take a lot of work and time before it can start rebuilding roads! What has also helped with the reprogramming for me, is learning to manage the sneaky little addict voice that is trying so hard to tell me to drink, because it knows that is what my brain is craving. By recognising the thoughts that it gives me, and actually replying to it and saying NO, not any more, I am able to think more rationally about why I feel I need to pick up a drink. I am not religious and I did try AA and NA when I was in rehab, and when I got home. I was able to take some things from it, but long term it just didnāt work for me, but it has helped so many people. I needed something more akin to my self and my personality. I do think meetings are important though so I do go to online recovery meetings which keep me grounded, along with forums like this where you can connect and share. I hope that helps, and I know you will find the path that works for you as you seem very aware of what isnāt working for you. Just keep reaching out to as many online recovery groups as you can and try to find some secular meetings that you can go to. Keep yourself strong and be proud of yourself for every minute, hour, and day you are sober!
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