The last couple of years have brought so much heart ache. People in my family dying, one of which being my mum and others getting ill. Booze has become a bit of a crutch and when I didn’t need it to cope, I would have an ‘occassion’ which gave a ‘reason’ to drink. Last night I drank so much that I have not stopped being sick and I hate myself for it. Enough is enough. I need to cut alcohol out of my life but am so worried that I will talk myself out of it a week down the line. I need to do this. I hope I can do this.
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The addictive thinking will lie to us constantly. They say the disease kf addiction centers in our minds. My mind does lie to me and it will tey to convince me that I can have 1 and he okay, or that I can moderate, or that I cant cope without it. My biggest issue was very much like ur worry… worrying that in a weeks time u will talk urself out of staying sober. I found that usually around day 3 of recovery, my mind will “forget” how bad it was and the reasons for why I quit. So since u know that u also have the tendency to talk urself out of it, I will share with u what helped me to get thru that. I found that I needed something tangible to hold onto, something that I could read to help break that thought pattern. If I didnt have something tangible, I wouldnt have been able to be in the right state of mind to pull myself out of it. So while ur remembering all the reasons why u want to quit, maybe take some paper and a pen and write down those reasons. I was very raw and real with my list. I needed to remember that feeling of desperately wanting to be clean. I carried that paper around with me everywhere bcuz triggers/thoughts can happen anytime. As soon as that thought popped into head, I HAD to do something differently to break that thinking - using pattern. I would read my list, I would pray to my HP, I would come on here 1st and talk about it, I would attend an online mtg, I would use distraction, exercise, anything to not use. Overtime it does get easier and it won’t be this much work to get out of those thoughts. U just gotta get urself past the tough part 
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Thank you so much. That is so helpful 
. And good for you! I don’t ever want to feel like this again
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Ur very welcome! I struggled with giving into those thoughts for a very long time. I just couldn’t seem to break that cycle. But we have to change our responses to our thinking and to be able to tell the difference btwn what Is a lie our mind is telling us and what is the truth. I remind myself of my powerlessness to drugs daily. I have to. I have a morning routine with daily readings and prayer etc and it really helps me stay recovery focused. If u like routine and feel that having a morning routine be beneficial for u, definitely give it a try
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We never actually have a reason to drink, only excuses. People unfortunately get sick, people unfortunately die and those of us left behind have to work through and cope with the loss. Alcohol doesn’t help us cope with shit, it only prolongs coping with it. I can tell you that it is easier to cope with loss sober taking it on right away.
Sobriety is scary in the beginning for sure because we take ourselves out of the present moment and into situations that may or may not ever happen. I wish you well, live for today because it’s all you really have.
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Im sorry for your loses id be devastated. Im only 7days in but this time i want to stop… So i did things differently… I went to my doctors… I told alot of people so they know…i wrote down how i feel the day after i was drank
Do not feel guilt or shame because that feeling right there will take you back to drinking it always did me… I drank away the guilt… Look at today a bit more positive this is the day you change your life from this day on you Dont have to live like this
Break your days down… 30mins at a time… Because telling yourself u can never drink again will be way to daunting
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