Recently we had a discussion on this topic in the parking lot of the Recovery Dharma online meeting I attend. Several attendees mentioned they never had and do not have a sponsor or mentor, me among them.
We all mentioned how we cannot tollerate hierarchies, deferring to authorities and dogma well. Instead we like multiple perspectives and finding our own paths. Many combine different approaches and take what they need, may that be any of the recovery programs, counseling, therapy, etc.
One person put it quite well: āYou all are my mentors.ā There is no crosstalk in the shares, but often a topic will come up that somehow several people will pick up and share about. Itās the multitude of perspectives that gives me food for thought, for self reflection, for finding my own path.
What I find essential to recovery though is staying open to new perspectives, learning from experience (my own and that of others), and connecting with recovery communities.
I am sober two years, and Iāve got this far on my own and with the invaluable help of my peers here on TS. Where I live, AA is thin on the ground, and in any case as an agnostic I am not comfortable with all the God in AA (I know they reference āHigher Powerā, but for me itās obvious the whole program is built around God). Anyways, Iāve done lots of searching, read lots of quit lit, reassessed many beliefs, things and relationships, interacted here lotsā¦ Iām clear on what I need to keep going through recovery, and I trust that by always keeping sobriety as the priority, Iāll be able to keep going.
Im into my 6th year now without any programs or sponsors or anything.it was just a matter of getting my head down and getting on with it for me.that along with the ongoing help from family.
The idea was to get a few sober months under my belt and then look at going to some type of meeting but i never got round to it. I did however ring AA a couple of times to get s bit of moral support.
My 5th year turned out to be my hardest upto now,and this is when i found Talking sober by accident,within days i was feeling alot better just knowing other people were in the same boat as me.
Im so happy i found the place its helped me enormously
Would i do things different?? No i wouldnt,how i done it has worked for me but i am very grateful that i found TS and my sober friends in the end.
I am looking at going to meeting now though.
I am 2 years sober. Independently. With the help of this app and I follow a facebook group. When i became sober i also decided to stay abstain from any sex with anyone for a minimum of 1 year. I totally agree with you that abstinence is extremely helpful. I ended up not engaging in sexual activities for 1.5 years. I no longer want meaningless sex. I prefer to be alone, unless that true person that is ment for me walks into my life. If he doesnt thats fine also. I did end up doing bible study with my neighbors for about 6 months when I was feeling completely lost and insane about 8 months into my sobriety. I have learned to pray, a lot. But i also learned that I can talk to God like a friend and that he really does answer. I do not belief in religion. I do belief I have a caring father that sees all and hears all, and therefor I dont feel that loneliness i have always felt.
Have you looked into SMART recovery? Itās a Self Maintenance program of recovery
Almost 6 years sober.
I didnāt go the AA route, I just came here (this forum), but I didnāt do it alone, none of us here did. We lean on each other as much as we learn from each other.
When I first quit drinking, I felt lost, I asked those who had some sober time how to live sober and followed their advice. They guided, I listened, now I guide. We are never alone in this, nor should we be.
Thanks for starting this thread, @Pjordan1906 ! Lots of great info shared for this newbie considering exploring group work. Thanks for sharing, all!