Hello there,
I am hitting the 5 day mark for the first time in years today. Just wondering how everyone deals with the people around them that are drinkers? I’m finding myself very tired of explaining myself when dealing with the “oh you’re not drinking?” “Why aren’t you drinking?” “You don’t have a problem do you?” Like I’m my opinion I don’t owe anyone an explanation but nonetheless I don’t want to be rude to my friends and family and I don’t want to come off as if I’m looking down at them or anything but I also am just trying to do better for myself as much as that seems to not be a good enough answer for people. Anyways thanks!
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Welcome @nara! 
This is a common feeling - you are not alone. There are a few really good threads about this. Here’s one - you will find the responses helpful 
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Hey, welcome.
“I don’t want to” should be reason enough. You know it yourself, you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
The analogy I make is that I don’t pester people about their food choices (oh, you’re not eating mustard? WHY, HUH?! You don’t have a problem, do you?) See how silly it is.
It’s really nobodys business what you choose to ingest or not ingest.
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Hi Courtney. Welcome to TS!
Just like everyone (and yourself) said, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. You can use what I tell people. That I’m pregnant. That normally shuts them up real quick!
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For me it started off with “I’m cutting calories for a bit.” After about a month I was comfortable saying I was taking a break from drinking. After about 90 days I started saying I kind of lost interest and may have a drink another time. At about 6 months I started identifying as someone who simply doesn’t drink if it was offered. At 9 months or so I started telling people that alcohol wasn’t doing my waistline, bank account, or relationships any favors so I quit. Recently I’ve been openly telling people I struggled for a long time and got help to treat my addiction and I can point them to the same path if they’re interested and ready.
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I like that @Seabee and will definitely use that. As everyone is saying it can either be none of their business or you can simply say your not drinking. If more info is needed and your not comfortable explaining the situation, like I have been with the president of my company, I told him I was on medication that could not be mixed with alcohol. It’s a long term solution until you decide what you want to do. I have always been the type that doesn’t really care if people like me or not, so unless it’s business meeting which effects my job, I am completely open even to strangers because they may need to be pointed in the right direction someday. Even my employer I am 100% positive will understand but I decided I wanted to put in more time before I opened up about it.
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First, for me at least, I remind myself that normal drinkers dont understand us.
Second, some people I let know I am an alcoholic, some get the, “I just dont drink”
Third, if number 2 doesnt answer their questions…I no long care…I use to…now, I just let them wonder and think what they want to think.
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When the topic comes up, I let them know I am a recovering alcoholic. That pretty much stops that.
"But Dan, you don’t look like… "
What’s an alcoholic supposed to look like?
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Just telling them that you don’t want to should be enough. You shouldn’t have to explain anything. It is nobody’s business why you are not drinking but your own.
You shouldn’t have to explain yourself but you probably will have to. Most people just don’t understand the extent that alcohol will drive us. My personal favorite is, " why don’t you just stick to beer a few times a week?"… It’s like “because I’m a f***king alcoholic. I’ll be a fifth deep a day in a week if I try to do that.” Be strong. Others can influence your behavior but ultimately you choose to drink or not. Good luck.
“Alcohol and my body no longer get along. Trust me, you don’t need the details.”
It’s an difficult thing especially at first or with your good old crowd.
At first especially with people I don’t know I was quite open about it cause I really didn’t give a fuck, until I saw the effects, a lot of job offers and music gigs when I told them yeah well i don’t drink cause I’m a raging alcoholic I was the most qualified no call back.
Then I started to say I just don’t drink, I got my partying days out when I was younger so I can be an amateur adult now
Now I just insert whatever feels right for the crowd, medication, health benefits, diet, alcoholic.
A few months back I was out with a work group and they were all drinking they said oh your not drinking? I said nah, I’m not a drinker, and they left it at that,
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One thing I’ve said in the past was “I’m just getting healthy for xxxxx”.
I really like what you said to others at first and then after time. I’ll have to remember them. Thank you
My responses based on relationship:
Someone I don’t know “I’m on an antibiotic”
Someone I don’t know and want to go away “I’m on an antibiotic for gonorrhea”
Someone I love “I don’t need to anymore”
As for the alcoholic question I like to go with
“I think that might be the wrong question right now. The question is does drinking alcohol help my life and the answer is no”.
Good luck! 