It’s been a week since my last drink. Not a big thing to most but this is the furthest i’ve gotten. My emotions are really out of order and i’ve become much more angry and frustrated over just about any and everything. It’s eating me alive and makes it difficult to enjoy the things i use to or just simply letting go of simple things. I’ve been angry all day and when trying to explain this to my significant other, he says it’s an excuse. I’ve never felt so misunderstood. I did some research and found that, within the first week, it’s possible to experience anger and frustration more often than before. How do i get him to see this and gain his support? I wanted him to be happy for me but instead we argued, i cried and he left. He’s taking it personally and feels that i’m treating him badly. Any advice? Feeling this way makes me want to drink and just not even bother with sobriety anymore 
Sobriety is a solo journey… we have to walk it for ourselves. If we’re lucky our partners will be supportive, if they are not it’s on them. If he wants to understand tell him to check out alanon literature, maybe a meeting. Best wishes to you and don’t give in. There will always be excuses to drink but never a reason.
I have been in this situation and here is what helped me.
Fill your head with positive recovery information. Listen to podcasts, watch movies about sobriety, listen to audiobooks or read. Go to AA. Try to do your own thing for a bit. Go for a walk, go shopping,clean out your closet, volunteer, do a hobby.
We actually made an agreement to only drink on the weekends but i decided to stop all together. He came over drunk this past wednesday. Sucked. but i maintained a positive attitude. time before he came over after drinking and lied saying he didn’t drink. i was trying and just gave in. felt that if i didn’t have the support from him i wouldn’t have it from anyone.
I’m not sure you CAN explain it in a way he’ll understand. Unless he goes through it he just can’t.
To help YOU understand it, my personal opinion is that things did not let things go before. When we drink we don’t fix our anger we just postpone it to later…no that you’re not drinking all that anger and frustration is coming out. That’s why it feels like you are extra angry over nothing. I promise this does get better and in time you will find your emotions more appropriate to the situation.
You could try explaining that to him. If he doesn’t get it still it might be worth it to spend a little less time together for now. I don’t mean break up with him, just some space while you work on these feelings. If he cares for you he will be supportive.
YOU CAN DO IT!!
Thank you so much! I have noticed that without the alcohol i’m forced to accept and deal with certain situations head on but didn’t think the anger was one of them. Definitely have to keep this in mind.
Welcome! 
I’m sorry you’re going through that with your partner, it sucks.
He doesn’t understand. He may develop an understanding over time or he may not. But whether he understands or not has no bearing on your sobriety.
Your sobriety is about you: your health, your life, your presence (being present for yourself and the people who matter to you). Your true self has been masked under booze for a while now; you’ll learn more about yourself (and so will he) as you gain sober, healthy time.
There’s a saying: don’t make any big decisions in your first year of sobriety. The important thing is to be sober, one day at a time, and learn who your true self is, sober - and develop a healthy relationship with yourself.
Be gentle with yourself, be kind, and find groups of people who understand you. (Talking Sober is good, and there’s many support groups that work too.) Take some time to learn about recovery as well. There’s lots of good resources (books, podcasts, groups) here:
Remember: you’re not alone. Reach out for people who support you and understand you. Being alone is hard; having support helps you walk your path safely.
Your sobriety really isn’t his responsibility. I am a member of a couple of sobriety communities and TS to have people that can understand available. I would look into local AA or other sobriety communities so that you don’t have to struggle alone. We are rooting for you.
In sobriety - especially early sobriety - you’re gonna feel a lot of emotions: anger, sadness, fear, joy, etc etc. (VSue is absolutely right.) One of the things you learn by walking your sober path (including seeking support and advice from other sober people) is how to feel emotion in normal ways. It’s gonna feel weird for a while.
Have faith in yourself though. You’ll get the hang of it in time 
Welcome Phoenix and congratulations on your first week of sobriety. That’s a big deal and a lot of hard work. Some people just don’t get it. I drank with my wife for years. We were big time party buddies. My first couple of weeks on TS I hid the app from my wife. Then I finally found a good morning walking the dogs to talk to her and tell her how important it was for me to not drink and I needed support. She said she’d support me but that she’s still gonna drink. I did a lot of angry power walking twice a day with my angry hip hop rap. I was so angry all the time my first month. I thought It’s not fair everyone else can drink like a normie. But I can’t. I also spent a lot of time apologizing to my wife for my more than snarky behavior towards her. It gets easier. Stick around here. Lots of great people here to learn from.
