I’m really interested in people’s stories of dealing with upheaval while remaining sober. I really feel that people who haven’t fought a strong addiction - and that feels like almost everyone around me right now - really struggle to understand how incredible and inspiring it is to witness anyone push through all of the uncertainty and fear in such a scary world while remaining strong enough to say no to the temptation to bury our often painful awareness in an escape that numbs those feelings for even a short while.
I’m currently in that place today. My financial future is very uncertain, which is always the scariest thing to deal with. My life at home with my teenager is facing some rearranging as they now seek more independence in the world and a life further away from my influence. Natural and great, of course, but so stressful all the same. Especially as I have no family support around, and no friends in the area I live in. (Thank you, addiction ) I intend to find new places of connection, I’m looking into new earning opportunities, and trying to avoid the very real possibility that I may have to look at moving home to relocate in the not-so-far future.
So it’s all very new. Very full-on. Very scary. Life is always about stepping into the unknown if you don’t want to feel stuck in place.
But this is the point of my post - I don’t want to give in to my addiction. I don’t want to damage my chances of moving ahead now. I don’t want to feel unwell again. I just don’t want to be that person. I want my life and my future, even if I’m not sure what that is today.
So how have others faced this while remaining sober? Rather than advice, do you have a story of how you said no to the addiction despite it all and can now look back and feel that pride and accomplishment that myself and so many others will be hoping to have someday?
Thanks in advance! Lou
You know Lou, this is how ive learned not to give in…its ok to be scared and unsettled…i think give yourself permission to feel that way…anyone going through all of that would find it difficult for sure… i know i would…i think as addicts we get so used to immediately escaping when things get tough we forget that its ok to have all these feelings and so its not necessary to escape them…let the feelings come, sit with it for a while, think about what you can attempt to sort out try to sort, the other things that you cant control you try and make the best of…lists are good to help you to focus…i can definately tell you that all these difficulties are ALOT better dealt with with a sober head, we are all here for you, its great that youve come here to vent it out your doing great, sending love
I am in a similar financial situation (I don’t know if it’s the same exactly but I am in a situation where the consequences one way or the other are pretty significant). It worries me a lot.
When I am at my best, in my best head space, I am not thinking about the next day or the past; I have my list of things I need to do today, and I am doing them one at a time. If I hit a snag and feel stuck, or if I’m between tasks and have a moment of boredom (either of those things have been spaces I’ve reached for my addiction), I’ll call my sponsor or a recovery friend from my group. Just to do a quick checkin, even just a few moments, a few simple questions: what am I doing, how am I feeling, what do I feel is a potential risk today, am I committed to this, do I want this?
I am not sure what the result will be. I have found that having a list and staying focused on the present, on what I can do and control now, is helpful. It’s when I start thinking about bigger things like “am I a failure because I am stumbling or unsure now” that I get myself into trouble.
I moved back to Scotland when my ex wanted me to move out had nowere to go but my elderly parents back home said i could stay with them after sleeping in bus shelters was getting a bit tricky came home with two plastic bags and lost my three companies , went to AA got sober started my landscaping company never looked back married again two sons , retired now still sober 37 years later ,if you want this then nothing should put you off getting sober . im solvent dont have money problems just living my life happily
) I intend to find new places of connection, I’m looking into new earning opportunities, and trying to avoid the very real possibility that I may have to look at moving home to relocate in the not-so-far future.