Too many times I go a couple months sober and think I am doing such a good job then that one phone call or text changes everything and no matter how much I want too resist a drink or two is all takes for me too fall back in my pattern of cocaine use and as a result my partner is ashamed of me while I am also ashamed of myself so I dont reach out too her I reach out too other addicts too talk about how much of a trash bag I am when Im high because telling her would only result in ridicule because she doesnt understand my brain I want too be better anyone have advice?
5 Likes
My advice would be that getting sober for your partner will possibly not work. Experience tells that most people only succeed once they want to sober up for themselves. Are you there yet?
3 Likes
P.S: welcome to the community, we are a friendly and welcoming bunch 
2 Likes
Welcome the best service I can give is don’t drink, I see so many people back taking cocaine because they have had a drink, for a lot of people the two go hand in hand and you said yourself your tempted when you’ve had a drink. I wish you well🙏
2 Likes
Do you have a plan to put in place, a program, to grow your sobriety? Not just to stay dry and clean on willpower or avoidance, but to address the reasons for your addiction and to enlarge your spiritual connection with other people and the Unseen?
The bottom line for us is that we have a certain strength of motivation to drink/use and a certain strength to stay sober. In order to get away from the constant daily fight between the two, I had to completely surrender to the idea of sobriety, to become a person who does not drink and who takes specific action daily to stay that way. We need help and strength, faith in the goodness that is available to us, from something outside ourselves - a group of folks all moving in the same direction or a practice that encourages self examination and change. My history demonstrates that I cannot stay sober on my own, but I am responsible for my actions on the daily and that includes getting help and power, fuel for sobriety, from outside my own head.
It may seem harsh, but I tend to discount the drama of doing crappy things while high and the inevitable upheaval of our lives when we get sober - drama distracted me from actual work that has led me to a peaceful sobriety today. Sobriety has to come first for me today and every day.
1 Like