Aww! That’s good to hear you’re doing better and honering Daniel’s wishes. Glad to hear your sobriety is still a priority and you’re leaning on meetings during these difficult times.
I would love to see the tattoo when you get it, if you’re willing to share a pic.
Sending you lots of love and hugs 
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After a little over 2 years I still feel so much sadness and grief when I go up to Anchorage and visit family. I was able to drive up yesterday and stay the night to visit. Even though my Dad and stepmom have moved into a new home after Daniel’s death the grief is heavy and masked with my whole family just trying to stay happy and show smiles but I can feel the sadness from my Dad, stepmom and my sister in law. I went up there not knowing that the kid that shot my brother had a bail review that day. I was able to be there for my sister in law to stay up late and talk about life. She talked about her 3 months she spent in Paris. She wants to move there but the language barrier is what is holding her up so shes taking French class so she can start a fresh life. I was able to spend time with my Stepmom and our relationship has become much better after Daniels death, there was even a time where her knees were almost touching mine while we laughed about life’s little quirks, she realized she was so close and she kinda pushed herself away and said she had to get to bed. My relationship with my step mom was never the best but after i sobered up and apologized for my rude behavior when I lived under their roof bringing pot and beer home for my then teenage brother Dan. But now we can get along and hug each other when we leave. I made sure to tell her how great she looked before she went to work and I was leaving town. She said she would fly me up for Christmas. My Dad and I had spent some time together out in the shop building a reloading bench for a friend of his. We had great conversations over coffee and breakfast this morning. When I left the house and made it home I felt so sad for my family and the tremendous loss that changed the dynamics of our family forever, Daniel was only 28 years old when he was murdered. I sure miss him and cant seem to stop crying this evening but after typing some of it out it has helped. This huge loss has changed the way I spend time with my family and definitely made me appreciate everytime I get to see them. They are all so happy I found sobriety and looking forward to owning my own home. Before Daniel died I talked about a house and he told me he would come down and help me refinish or do anything he can for me, my Dad taught him everything about fixing things around the house. Gosh he sure is missed.
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This is a beautiful way to honour your brother’s life and legacy, and also your grief. I can only imagine how proud he would be, how proud he is, of you.
Big hugs to you and yours 
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Thank you, Suze. Getting to know people on here and in AA is one of the most prized blessings of my life. It’s clear you carry your love for Daniel and his love for you in you every day.
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Im grateful for the community both online and my local AA community. Without everyone I definitely would not be sober.
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Yes after A home I plan on vacations with my sister-in law, first bermuda and then who knows after. I told Judith that we should travel and go places Daniel never got to go. He was an adventurous person just like my Dad.
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Your tattoo came out awesome! I love it! 
How beautiful it is that you were able to incorporate Dan’s ashes. Now, you can look at your arm and have that reminder that he’s always with you.
Reading your update, brought tears. Losing Daniel and finding sobriety have strengthened your family bond. I know grief is extremely difficult but you’re showing us how do it sober.
We’ve been on this sober journey together for 5 years and I’m one of your biggest cheerleaders. Much love 
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