My parents don’t really know how bad my alcoholism was. They have no idea drinking was a daily thing for me. Now, every time I go do something, they like to make remarks about drinking. Any time alcohol is even mentioned they bring me up in the conversation. It feels really crappy to say the least. I’m really trying to do better and be a better person. It’s hard when you’re constantly reminded, by other people, of your mistakes. I already know I messed up and was messed up. I don’t need to be slapped in the face with that on a saturday while we’re having a family dinner. They aren’t helping me, if anything, they’re making me desperately crave a drink - a BOTTLE. I’m on this sobriety journey so I can be the best version of myself, for myself and for others. I’m also an adult and make my own decisions. I don’t know if they think reminding me of the mess I created is going to deter me from “bad decision making”, but if I really wanted to (not that I’m going to) I could go get a drink at anytime. The only person stopping me is myself. I wish they (and other people) would comment on how well I’m doing now instead of focusing on how bad I was.
This sounds completely frustrating and hurtful. Im sorry ur having to be consrantly reminded of past mistakes. Do you think if you had a conversation with them about this, that they would stop? Maybe letting them know that their comments are not helpful would stop them from saying these things.
I think a conversation would help, they’re just not always the most understanding/supportive people. My dad seems to feel like he has the right to tease me and bring these things up, which I suppose he kind of does, because I have put him through a lot with my addiction as well. I just wish I could go one day without being reminded I was unresponsive in the bathroom, it’s not exactly a pretty or positive memory.
This is honestly awful and breaks my heart to hear that this teasing is going on. You dont need to be reminded of past mistakes. Everyone of us knows what we have done wrong. Who wants it to be thrown in our face over n over. I know in the past for myself, with certain people, ive actually had to distance myself just a bit bcuz it wasnt good for my recovery. In this situation it was bcuz of remarks being made also that would trigger me to want to use. And i told them flat out that if the remarks dont stop, ill have to remove myself and place some distance btwn us bcuz it wasnt good for my recovery. That actually worked and they did stop.
@chloconut this seems very frustrating and hurtful . If a conversation doesn’t work implement boundaries - if people (including) family cannot respect your boundaries let them go or create some distance . Hope things get better 
I understand this feeling bc of my ex. During arguments he would bring up, out of no where, something I did wrong in the past. Not even related to the topic. “At least I never got 2 DWIs!” But like he was actually saying “IN YOUR FACE! I win. You’re worse than me!”
Initially I felt as tho I deserved it bc of the things I had done. As you feel with your father. But now that we’re apart, it just felt like bullying.
There’s one thing I am now adamant about doing when entering my next relationship. @Beautifully_Broken said it first. Boundaries. Set and enforce them. If there’s those who can’t abide, then maybe the problem is theirs. And you can walk away.
Well done on your time sober 
I hope this turns out well for you 
I dont think people have the right to bring up these things to put tjem in your face, and it took me a very long time to relaizw that because part of me lived with a lot of shame and I also was raised by a parent who engaged in shaming (I do not believe they mean to do it maliciously, but it is not appropriate).
I still have a complicated relationship with shame, and I am not here to say that men are not shamed but I think too the shame we put on girls and women who deviate feom beong a “good girl” is different. Boys/men its okay to go get in shit, rebel & boys will be boys. But its generally shameful for girls. This is just somwthing I am starting to understand, 20 years post my wild teenage yrs, played a big role in how people judged and treated me. Im sorey I am not sure if this speaks to you or maybe its thr opposite i couldnt tell from your post but either way, you are being shamed and no one deserves to have their pain poked at.
I do think you should try to talk tp them about it, bit I also understand you have your doubts about how effective that would be. Honestly the conversation took a long time to sink in for this one parent, but it was not as much teasing this person was doing it was a bit different. I am not sure perhaps your family engaging in teasing generally, and its just part of the dynamic but even still I think anyone with healthy boundaries and respect for you would know this is not okay - it undermines your self esteem, self respect, feeling of respect from other, etc. Parents should want to do the opposite IMO.
Try talking to them or at least preparing yourself to set the boundary. Maybe write out a letter of how it makes you feel, and prepare a plan for how you can respond the next time they do that - that way you dont react (i.e., yell or drink). This is threatening to your sobriety/non drinking bc everytime you are around your family and people who love you, they are slapping you in the face with it and also playong it in a joking/teasing manner which makes it even harder to address emotionally. You dont have to have a full blown convo where they understand to set boundaries. Im not speaking here to give advice, but feom my own experience with this being shamed or having my history with alcohol brought up as thpugh it wasnt a very difficult time for me too. The comments were about shaming me and removed my experience from the equation entirely.
I started by just setting the boundarie when it was brought up.
I dont believe even in your case your family warrants a discussion by you or explanation or trying to talk to them, if they do not see you and you feel unheard then a conversatjon may not go heard. I think if you try setting the boundary and its respected, or they seem to get it then try the conversation. Or of course you can try the convo anyway it is your family. I am just now learning about boundaries I have to set with my family, so I am NOOOOO expect.
But you deserve to be seen, you deserve to be respected and if the boundaries do not wprk I would consider spending less time with them (again something I have never been good at, so I am not saying do this but I am just trying it now. It is also very hard and painful to take space from damily, this I deeply understand).
Your parents do not need to understand/be supportive to respect a boundary. Practice how yoh may respond next time, or even how you mag bring it up before hand to set the boundary. See what happens. I hope they respect it, but please come back to share if they do not. It is a deeply painful and also learned thing to be shamed, not be supported and also learn love feom people who are deeply dysfunctional (again speaking about my family). I am just seeing now tjings that i realize i have always lived with, accepted and believed were either normal or just part of them being human.
Hope i didnt go off thr rails too much. You just do not deserve to be teased about your drinking. Its not appropriate at all. I definitly think there could be a good natured way for someone to “tease” you in a one-off comment, and there are ways to bring up that time in your life to discuss it that others can engage in without harming you…but it just does not sound like yhats whats happening here.
You deserve SUPPORT on your journey!!! Dont let anyone make you feel bad about where you have been. Xo.