Family… im out for a meal with them and they are driving me crazy… bickering… so so negative and they are now sat there going through the cocktails telling me that they have my fav one… yeah thanks for the support fam! I havent felt this wound up since my breakdown… just wish people had abit on empathy and tried to understand how hard this is for me.
@Crystal hope you managed to survive the family meal, really sucks that you feel your family aren’t supportive, I’d like to think that their behaviour is habitual because they have acted like that towards you in the past, it is hard to be understood by others if they have never walked in your shoes. Chin up hun it won’t be this way all the time, when your behaviour changes over time so will thiers towards you. Hugs, you’ve always got people to talk to right here. Sorry it took a bit of time to reply
Thankyou for your reply… o survivef it and with out a drink… think stuffing my face with food helped haha xx
You got this! My brother doesn’t 100% understand. I guess unless your actually an alcoholic a person cant. He came around and now understands what I need to do even though he doesn’t completely get it.
They will come around for you. If not that’s ok. You are getting stronger every day.
For me nobody really understands what I have to go through and my sisters tend to keep their distance except for one. My dad is probably the one who understands the most as he was an alcoholic and has been sober for 23yrs now, I can’t bring myself to talk to him as I don’t want him to be disappointed in me. My husband doesn’t understand but tries his best to be supportive. My mum says she’s there for me but she can’t support me as untimately it’s all on me to do the work, I’m just doing me right now and when I’m in a stable position I will most definitely be having my say
Are you sure your dad will be disappointed? In my experience it doesn’t help me to second guess what someone else is thinking. Give it a go. At least you’ll have something in common!
It’s tough isn’t it. I just got back from a family holiday. My first holiday sober! They don’t know I’m an alcoholic but know I have quit drinking. All I heard was ‘this is a lovely wine’, ‘i feel like doing shots’. I even got ‘you would feel more relaxed if you’d had a drink’.
Felt like telling them to just fuck off, but managed to restrain myself lol.
The more sober days you add, the easier this will get, and the more used to you not drinking they will become. They need to grow out of their habits, just like you xxx
Thankyou everyone for sharing your stories and support. Its means so much that i finlly have met people who understand me and wnt to support me rather than encourge me to drink and be destructive. Ive always felt like i dont fit in the world but now i have hope. X
You never know until you open up to you dad. If he was there once before, he may know more than you think and is just waiting for you to come to him. As he is a fellow addict, I’m sure he would feel proud that you have recognized those behaviors and have made a positive adjustment. Speaking with your dad, someone you are completely familiar with, may give you a safe environment, comfort and support. The conversation can only go two ways, getting to the conversation is the hardest part. I wish you luck and hope you feel comfortable opening up to him soon.
Obviously your family and friends don’t understand the depth of the addiction that you’re going through or have went through. And how hard recovery is. Do they know that you’re in recovery? And anybody in your family ever been an addict? Maybe you shouldn’t have went out with them. And explain why, because of the alcohol involved in the situation at the dinner. I feel for you and understand what you’re going through as does any alcoholic or addict. And if you ever need to talk about anything I’m here for you I’m sure there was a way to get back ahold of me. Was good talking to you let me know how you how your support system is. Or if you have one and if you don’t I’ll be that for you. Get back with me if you do need help it was good talking to you and it sounds like you and your family just need better communication. Or there and they need to realize and grow up
Family does suck sometimes I been there before. Just throw the birds to them in your head and literally just laugh out loud and go along with them, laugh with them . Tell them how funny it is “sarcasm” is the best way to describe that I guess. Watch them shut up after that. At least it worked for me. Never hurts to try. Stay sober Stay HUMBLE GOD BLESS!
I spent time with my mum and dad at the start of my sobriety, was nice going back to my home country for a bit, I could see that my dad really wanted to talk to me and that he felt lost because I wouldn’t speak. I did find out bits from my mum who told me that the doctor told him to pour any alcohol down the drain, my dad told the doctor no, because as long as he had money in his pocket the he could buy alcohol anyway. He didn’t buy any more alcohol, I know he quit for his family. I’ve always gone above and beyond to prove my parents wrong, they didn’t have many expectations for me, I had the birds and Bees talk at 16 because they thought I would be pregnant first ahead of my two older sisters. I was a wild child to say the least, I achieved cadet sergeant major in army cadets, I done well in my gcses exams, I ignored my dad’s choice of business college and went on to qualify in childcare and health and social care oh and food, I was the first one out of my sisters to drive, I always had a well paid job, I was the first to get married (swear my dad ran me down the Isle) and I didn’t have kids till I was 30. My parents were and probably are still proud of me and I feel that after years of getting approval I really feel like a let down. My dad has always been there for me, at 3am when I needed to get home, holidays together even after I left home, arguing with ex boyfriends after we split, never telling them where to find me. Buying me things for my first home, the list of things that he has done for me is endless, I never wanted to let him down, but I did.
Hang in there. I recently just got out of rehab and family and some "friends " don’t understand why I can’t be around alcohol. They just keep telling me the same shit “just don’t drink” I am attending AA meetings because that’s the only place I can relate to people and actually they understand. And I’m glad this app exist.