I have been struggling to stay sober lately, I’m in the middle of an active relapse smoking dope. I recently on one of my better days reached out to my little brother to meet for lunch sometime. I haven’t seen him since he was a baby about 20 years ago. I don’t want to put off meeting him but mental health is hard to predict while I’m using. I don’t want him to think his big sister is some fucked off druggie
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It’s great your here, there are so many here in the same position as you or who have managed to sustain from using.
Today is a good day to start day 1.
So many supportive people here. I’m 6 years sober from smoking and I can tell you at first I found it difficult to just do everyday things… everything seemed easier or more fun when I smoked, even washing up for an example but really it made things harder.
The reality is my life became easier when I quit. I quit because because I felt it becoming what was bringing me down and keeping me stuck in life as well as causing paranoia.
You can do this, you have all of us your not alone 
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I would put off using rather than put off the meeting. Seeing my brother after 20 years would be an incentive to clean up before the meet up. If you can’t do it on your own, there’s no shame in seeking out help. Here’s a link to get you started: Resources for our recovery
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Sounds like a great incentive to sober up before meeting him.
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That’s what I am going to do today being day one
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That is great!
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We are all here too support you so keep reaching out and congratulations on your day 1 
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