Holidays are tough for a lot of us. I was drinking here and there and unhappy about it but there was nothing explosive. However, family celebration became a huge meltdown, worse because I don’t usually drink around them but did this time. A lot of issues we need to work out but we only really see each other at these big celebrations and thus while drinking. Asking for advice about how to work with family to improve the dynamic. Feels like I’m the only one whose been pushing to improve things and dealing with my darkness. Any experiences would be appreciated. Thank you!!!
Well first and foremost you can be the one who doesn’t drink in the future. You cannot however control your family’s drinking or reaction to your sobriety. I would start with focusing on things which you can control. That is your own self.
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In my recovery I learned to be polite and kind, no matter what I was doing. Whether I was with family, friends, or at work, they told me to be thoughtful and Think before I said anything.
Not sure if that’s helpful.
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It absolutely is. That’s the part I lose track of when I do drink. Some mindfulness practice and some more time in therapy are also things I think necessary and controllable for me. Thank you!
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Getting sober and allowing yourself to grow and heal through recovery is the first and only thing you need to focus on. Recovery is more than just not drinking. Find a program that fits for you. I do AA and The Luckiest Club. Lots of other sober supports in my toolkit. Next year will be completely different for you if you can get and stay sober.
My family is a heavy drinker family, they are winemakers. I’m known as the one who don’t drink anymore. Of course at the beginning it raised questions, but with time they assume I don’t drink when they do, they don’t even propose me any alcohol anymore and nobody seem to be bothered.
This Christmas they drank so much champagne that was crazy, even the 18/20 years old, they had fun, I shared some sodas with the youngest, and had a mocktail at the bar after.
It’s all in your mind, the battle, alcohol will always be around, you gotta have some strong resolutions.
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