I just got into a fight with my mom today about 6 PM in the afternoon after she got off work she’s been doing this for the past five years gambling and stuff but Reese most recently these past months she’s been disappearing after work when I have nothing to eat at the house mind you I’m 22 years old I’m a grown man I don’t have a high school diploma I have no drive or ambition I was making music for the past 4 to 5 years but that’s going down on a slow slope going down so she disappeared on me today and I just I just snapped texted a whole bunch of stuff I said that I hate her I hope she die from a stroke told her I was gonna punch her I broke the wall in my house which is her house and she has been buying weed every day for the past probably 10 years she stop by and meet me to give me my birth certificate that I need for my unemployment and give me some green and the AirPods that I bought for her that I told her to give me back and this plasma TV that I think it’s like a 55 inch and some nice fan for that I bought for her as well she’s been doing everything for me my whole life but I don’t know man I just snapped I know it’s kind of stupid of me to tell you guys my business when you don’t even know me but I don’t have no one else to talk about this too I’m really in a dark space man and I think she left she said that she wants to go or separate ways usually will get into a fight and then a day to make up with her I don’t really see no going back from this one if you guys have any advice or words of wisdom or something you can tell me I appreciate it 
Hey there friend,
We all make mistakes. It sounds like you know exactly how your words and actions hurt your mother and that makes you feel guilty.
One thing that my recovery has taught me is that when I know I have hurt someone, my healing won’t start until I own responsibility for all my choices and apologize to those I’ve hurt the most. Once I’ve taken the first step, things start to get easier.
I can’t tell you what your future has in store or what your next step is – that’s your job to figure out for yourself. But what I do know is that doing it clean and sober will bring you the most happiness.
Keep reaching out. We hear you, acknowledge you, love you, and welcome you. Life’s not easy and sometimes we just need to be heard.
Stop projecting your issues into other people. She’s most likely going to throw you out, or at least she should. This may be beneficial to getting sober as it seems like she is an enabler and you take advantage of the situation. Adult responsibilities will help you grow as a person. Especially when you don’t have a choice.
I’m not projecting my issues on nobody I’m just looking for different perspective and why do you think she should kick me out ?
Go back and re-read your post and tell me why she shouldn’t.
You wanted a different perspective so I can provide that. You are 22 years old. From what I can tell you sit around in your moms house, smoke weed and make music. For what it seems you don’t pay rent, clearly you don’t buy groceries and then you have the audacity to treat her like that because she is going out to live her own life?
You are 22 years old. Taking care of you is not her responsibility, it’s yours. And that’s where you are projecting onto her, because you know you should be doing more and you’re not. So rather than do something about it, you just send a text message to her saying you hope she dies. That’s projection.
You’ll probably get quite a few “everything is going to be okay posts” from other people here, but I’m not that guy.
Thank you for sharing that with me my brother I feel like shit for what I did and I want to call her and apologize but at the same time I felt like I needed to stand up for my self aggravated from her always gambling everything being desperate and asking other people for money being addicted to meth and gambling
That’s my mom I love her it’s really frustrating I don’t have no friends where I can stay at or family she left me alone in the house said she is gone to leave and not pay the rent but I don’t know if she will come to her senses so we can work past this
Respect you right I have been a complete asshole she just came now she says doesn’t want to talk and was crying for a long time she didn’t to tell no one about this I told her I’m sorry she even grabbed the fan I bought and put outside says she is quitting her job and is done I know you don’t have any sympathy for me and I’m not looking for none what can I do to make this right
Start by telling her you know what a complete asshole you’ve been and grow some empathy for your mother! If my live in son at 22 texted me he hoped I’d die of a stroke I’d probably die of a broken heart right then and there!
Your initial text shows no empathy for her at all. It seems you’re just looking to save your ass i.e. your cushy living situation.
Empathy and respect do not grow when we are intertwined with other people, depend on them and resent that at the same time. What’s your plan to grow up, stand on your own two feet? Once there’s some distance between you, your relationship will have a chance to breathe. You’ll be able to see better and feel better what’s you and what’s your mum.
I can understand it’s probably very difficult living with her when she’s addicted to meth and gambling. But what about your own addiction? This is a sobriety forum, why did you join? What are you doing to better yourself and become sober? Bitching about your mum won’t get you there.
Take some responsibility of your life. This will also give you the chance over time to prove to your mum you’re maybe not a complete asshole. This will take time. But our actions have consequences. It’s a good lesson to start out from.
If you work on yourself, getting a job, getting your own place and some personal growth, you will be in a stronger position to build a good relationship with your mother.
I had a bad upbringing and was kicked out at age 17, I came home and my stuff was outside in bin bags. Currently I have a very good relationship with my father
You right she’s all I got and I treat like a garbage because I’m so bitter with my self because I started smoking my life away giving up on my dream I know someone thats really close with drake and I could have made something of myself if I wasn’t so selfish and naive to my situation thinking I’m always right and being so ungrateful and manipulative to her it’s not right my aunt told me all the people she knew in her lifetime that treated their mom bad they never got what they wanted I just feel like everyone is against me in my life not this forum and just snapped it’s not right at all no excuse
Stop smoking weed and get professional help
OK that’s some self awareness. Try not to fall into a fall blown pity party over it. Hard I know, I have thrown many for myself!
Some questions -
What type of relationship do you want with your Mum? What can you do to build that? What is holding you back? Try and focus on the things you can control, and the things you can change. Living in the past or some imagined future is not usually helpful - today is the day we have!
What about your weed use - is that why you joined the forum? What are you doing to get sober from that? Is that what you want?
I know when I am feeling low it is really easy to sink into that feeling and start seeing everything through a negative filter. Challenging that is difficult but possible! Have you tried any support groups, meditation, exercise?
You say you are feeling lonely and like everyone is against you. Do you have any positive people in your life you can reach out to? Not necessarily even for support, just to be around, to help lift you and put you in a different mindset. If not, is that something that might help? Where might you find them?
Only you can find the answers to these questions but they are all the kinds of things that we all have to consider as we walk this path of liberation. It is difficult, long and messy but also beautiful. Keep checking in, read lots, and make the most of the shared experiences of everyone here! 
One day when you mother is not around your going to remember how you treat her so better make it something you can be proud of. I was on my own at the age of 16 and felt the same way you feel now that the world was against me and i had no one in my corner to help but it was my own ignorance, there are plenty of people out there that can help get us on our feet. Just have to put the work in and not expect things to just be handed to us. The big thing for me is what can i work towards to better my life, not what can people do for me to make my life more comfortable. Respect your mother there are a lot of people who dont have the comfort to be coddled and cared for, so the more respect you have for yourself it will show how you treat others. Wish you well.
I had to think about this one before I wrote because, as a single mother of four adult sons, I wanted to come across probably more aggressively than would have been productive. First, both you and your mother have boundary issues with each other. She should have set expectations a while ago and stuck to them with consequences of your actions. You obviously feel you have a right to say what goes on with her life…which you DO NOT. If you really want to help her, you would start school or employment so that you would be in a position to care for her. I don’t mean financially either. I mean to help her with her issues. Telling someone what to do is not “helping him/her.” I would recommend you both get counseling. But if she’s not willing to go, you should. I hope you both the best.
I’m sorry you are suffering, but I think you need to focus on yourself, and do your own life. Whether that be getting a job, or moving out, or whatever it is you need to do, you have to think about you.
She has a major problem, and she probably doesn’t want to hurt you, and probably wishes she doesn’t have her addictions. However, she has probably had this problem a long time, and now you are an adult.
So you have two options. You can stay with her, and try to help her, or you can do your own life, and still love her, but let her go. I know neither sounds great, but as a mother, who has a son, this is what my sober self would tell my son if he was feeling the same way about me.
Wishing you clarity, love, and positive energy.
This may not seem compassionate but I will step in as a guy and try not to be too harsh because it sounds like you need to hear this and maybe you don’t have a father role model in your life or he’s detached.
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time to grow up, time to get out and move up with your life and get a job. I work 50-60 hours a week and I’m a musician and I compose a couple songs a week as well as do photography, hiking, spend time with friends. So time to move on in your life and step up and figure out the Peter Pan complex and spread your wings because right now the only reason you’re acting this way is because you’ve been enabled which is partly your mother’s fault for caring about you overly.
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you’re 22, we’ve all said things we regret in life but trust me telling your mother you wish she would have a stroke is very childish and you will regret it or already have. Apologize and be sincere, it is not her job to nurture you, I moved out when I was 17 and I’m 31 and never been back home so no more excuses.
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weed kills you if you’re sitting around smoking it all day, you will find once you get rid of it how much more productive you are with music in your downtime writing.
Not meaning to come down on this but I don’t like lazy people and I don’t like people without ambition. Try to find your way in life now that you’ve had a chance to hear some feedback. Hope this helps because I personally think it’s exactly what you need to hear
Get some job and make some progress towards getting your own place. Show results instead of just lip service.