Fearful of my job

Hi, I’m new here. I’m currently 28 days sober. I took a leave of absence from my job. What got me to this position is that back in late October, I declded to quit taking my anti-depressant and anti- anxiety medication. I was still drinking daily though. Around late February, I noticed the negativity of the depression and anxiety kicking in. By May, I became so fearful of my job, I was still drinking daily and in a matter of weeks, I found myself hopeless and at rock bottom again. I saught help and have received it thank God. I just can’t understand why the most overwhelming thing constantly on my mind is my job! Has anyone else ever experienced this? This isn’t the first time in my long battle with alcohol/depression/anxiety that I’ve felt this way. I’m almost certain I need to change careers. I’ve been in sales/customer service roles for over 20 years. I feel my career path has played a big role in my drinking/depression. I guess I’m seeking others experience and advice who have had a similar fear, etc. I hope this rambling makes sense. It’s been waying heavily on me for many weeks

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That is extremely tough. My father did the same this

Im very happy to hear you reached out and found a little help

Even though your situation might be different from my dad’s slightly ( don’t know for sure) you accplish anything. I know there is a lot of positivity in your future. Give it time and get better asap. I’ll be thinking of you my friend

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Tough situation. I would say if you are worried, your job is also concerned. You will lose your job if you don’t do something. It’s not if, it’s when. It doesn’t have to be though. Think of how much worse it would be to have the anxiety of interviews and find another job. Burning bridges and losing a reference. I went through that and wish I could have had the right mind to change. It sounds so similar. The meds thing too. I was on them then off them etc … I felt that when I was doing well the meds actually were a physical trigger to drink. Anxiety is an sob to deal with especially when you are drinking. Drinking definitely helped for a few hours only for my anxiety to return with all it’s friends to beat me down! Alcohol is not your friend. Depending on your boss, you could sit down and have a discussion about things and come up with a plan together. You are here, you recognize the problem, you realize the consequences, that is a huuuuge step in the right direction. Now you need to create a plan and put it into action.

I wish you the best of luck. AA saved me.

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Just to be clear… You are saying you are currently sober, but you can’t stop mentally obsessing over your job?

I understand what you are saying. I think my job has been a trigger for me just due to the nature of it. I am constantly considering quitting. I used pills to cope with work. I am Day 2 of sobriety and I go back to work tomorrow. I am dreading it. I think it is time to change careers for me as well.

To you, I think if you are self aware that your job is a major trigger in your recovery, then switching may not be the worst idea. The struggle with that is finding a job that still fits your pay and schedule. I wish you the best of luck with this!

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That is correct. It’s messed up. The job causes me so much anxiety and triggers my depression. It’s a mental block I’m dealing with.

Yeah, OK, that’s what I thought. All I can do is share what I did in a very similar situation. My job was killing me. It was a great job and it wasn’t lost on me that I was lucky to have it. But, I couldn’t escape it. I took it with me everywhere. I wasn’t present even when I was with my kids, not working. I would never blame it for my divorce, but it sure didn’t help. It also did not help with my alcohol problem… that’s putting it mildly. About a year and a half ago I quit and started working on my addiction in earnest. I currently have about 4 1/2 months without a drop of booze. I work at a job that pays about a third of what I used to make. However, I’m immeasurably happier. The combination of being free of alcohol and free from the stress of that job has given me my life back. My kids even tell me I’m a different person now. That makes me quite happy (and sad for the time lost).

I wrestled with this decision for about 10 years before I finally pulled the trigger. About nine years too long. It’s tough.

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Thankfully, with addicts… rambling can make a lot of sense to us hahaha. I totally understand where you’re coming from and it sounds like God may be moving you to a different position and maybe your “trust” just needs to be replaced. Being sober is number one though! The rest will surely follow! Prayers being sent your way :pray:

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I was working in a bar customer facing similar to yours and i could not stop while working there so ive finished my job looking for something i will enjoy

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I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who obsessives over work. I have been in the hospitality industry since 2003. I beat myself up over mistakes constantly and use alcohol as a way to not just deal with the pain I put myself through but also as a way to justify my mistakes and shortcomings in the kitchen. Alcohol flows freely in almost every restaurant I’ve worked in and I constantly debate leaving the industry. However I still love cooking and am fairly good at it. I still can’t make sense of how I can be so passionate about something but still do it drunk at times.

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